Fedor: The Legacy

Following his almighty beasting at the hands of Bigfoot Silva in the Strikeforce Heavyweight Grand Prix, a lot has been made of where Fedor goes from here. Is now the time to call it day? Go out gracefully? Will his evil overlords even let him? It would appear not. So who's next for the fallen icon?

A HW fight with the current LHW champion, of course...

Anyway, Mr Harry Borovick takes a look at the legacy of Fedor and his imprint on MMA:

31-3-1 is an exceptionally impressive record for any type of modern professional combatant. But is a world-class record enough to really build a world-class legacy? This writer thinks not. Fedor will either be remembered by many as the greatest heavyweight to ever step into the cage, or as the most over-hyped, over-protected and over-lauded fighter that has arguably done more to damage the image of the sport than any other athlete in recent times (Jose Canseco doesn't count).

The way in which "The Last Emperor" allowed himself to be managed by the M-1global businessmen such as Vadim Finkelstein showed he did not respect MMA as a sport whatsoever. Those who respect the rise of mixed martial arts as a legitimate form of sports entertainment understand its popularity and growth stems from unified management by organizations rather than selective promoters (a la boxing). This has eliminated much of the ego in the forming of deals and the staging of fights. A fighter signs a contract, and then he consents to do whatever that organization tells him to do. At the very core of Dana White's success (and to some extent CEOs such as Scott Coker and Bjorn Rebney) is his establishment of who's the boss between them and their fighters. Obviously fighters have to be respected to a certain extent as they are the show-piece and the actual mechanism for profit, but no fighter is so exceptionally valuable that he out-values the entire organization for which he fights for. Even fighters such as Georges St. Pierre, the most marketable athlete in MMA, understands that their career and success depends on good fights, strong promotion and the health of the sport in general.

Fedor's time as a great fighter was up when he got demolished twice in two fights, even he had to admit that. It is in a way ridiculous that he would not have been fighting for Strikeforce, but would have been in the UFC fighting for a considerably higher sum and a better deal if he had not consented to the poor management of M-1. I say this is ridiculous because Fedor's record was only built up in the first place because of such extraordinarily selective fight choices up until that point. This shows that not only has poor management in Fedor's case by his manager Vadim Finkelstein built a fake legacy around a fighter, but that it has damaged the sport as a whole because when a fighter is built up so highly and then is knocked down so easily it damages the legitimacy of a sport. When there is such a high level of professionalism all fights are expected to be highly competitive, close, and entertaining. Watching Fedor he has been none of these for a considerable period of time, something which is highly concerning for anyone who cares about the health of this sport.

M-1, Vadim Finkelstein and others of the same school of management need to leave MMA well alone if the sport is ever to grow and be respected universally. This is by no means a dying sport like boxing, however it is certainly increasingly restrained by unscrupulous people trying to take advantage of sportsmen to make a quick buck and further purely selfish ambitions.

Staying British In The Face Of Defeat

So, another title shot, another loss. Another compilation of soul destroying images burnt forever into the retinas. It'll be a long time before we forget the sight of Nick Diaz dragging the camera towards Paul Daley to televise his struggle getting onto the stool to receive medical attention. Deplorable, of course...

...And yet, pride. As with every British sporting defeat there was that overwhelming stirring of national pride. The kind that has you on your feet, single tear running down the cheek as you struggle to remember past the first few lines of 'God save the Queen' *. It's that semi-satisfying sensation that only comes with being a plucky runner-up (not to be confused with quarter-final-exit-dejection). To put it into perspective: it's the difference between Dan Hardy Vs. GSP and Dan Hardy Vs. Carlos Condit. We may not have won the belt, but we won the hearts of those watching. It's a singularly British feeling that comes with years upon years of national practice at falling at the last hurdle or just before that, even.

I, for one, am f***ing sick of it.

'He came so close!'

'If only!'

'Early stoppage!'

I welcome the day when I have no need to use these tired, defeated, 'nearly man' exclamations. We're 0-2 in major title fights and potentially a long way from the next one (sorry Count, we both know it's true). Until the day Rob 'The Bear' Broughton takes his rightful place upon the reinforced heavyweight throne, it's going to be one hell of a dry spell.

So what now? Learn some takedown defence? We finally find the man willing to stand with a 'classic British striker' and he goes and f***s the whole thing up by being the resoundingly better boxer. Clearly somebody needs to give Mr Diaz a little history lesson on Britain and boxing/striking. Very rude.

With the above cathartic outpourings contenting our strained British souls for now, we at The Phantom Knee salute you Mr Paul Daley for being the closest runner-up we've had so far. You truly gave us a genuine 'He came so close!' to scream at our televisions (for those of us who actually paid) and the knowledge that, this time, we actually gave them a run for their money. Even if it was just under one round.

Always the bridesmaid, never the bride, we look to the future. Just maybe...





Mr Jimbo Slice

twitter.com/thephantomknee
twitter.com/Mr_Jimbo_Slice

* Of course I know all the words.

The Aftermath: An Interview With Luc Lamude

We recently interviewed our good friend and future MMA prospect, Luc Lamude, prior to his professional debut. Following his first round submission victory, we wanted to check in on the welterweight and take another look into his unique mind...



Q: Fresh from your 'blink and you'll miss it' victory, did you think it would end so quickly?

A: I go in mentally and physically prepared to fight a full five rounds if I have to I never underestimate an opponent nor do I give them any respect that I wouldn't hesitate to KO or submit them in the first minute.



Q: The mood of the audience noticeably changed when you made your entrance - was that the desired reaction?

A: To be honest I was completely oblivious to what the crowd was doing, whether it was positive or negative. I could feel a massive amount of energy in the air which is a good thing, as it intensifies my fight state and gives me Godlike energy to create spirit bombs and summon laser rain.



Q: Your flamboyant in cage persona visibly rattled Slicius - deliberate ploy or nerves? Did he attempt to play any minds games with you before the bout?

A: That's a hard one to explain... I've competed many times before in BJJ and have always had a slightly 'exotic' pre-fight warm up and persona to boot, which would always draw a lot of attention. I don’t really plan what I’m going to do I just feel it; it’s like going into character or switching personality. I kinda knew that to having an actual ring entrance with music, in front of a large audience would really bring out that alter ego.

I think the unorthodox behaviour and odd body language is just a by-product of my mental state, it visually lets the other guy know that he's in trouble and I'm here to go hard. It's more instinctive than logical or tactical even. Unlike his intentional ploy to play mind games with me, hitting a brick wall with his fists and roaring like a wild boar outside my locker room to psyche me out... He must have forgotten that walls don't usually try to double leg you and then try and snap your arm in an armlock...





Q: The pec-flexing during the referee's instructions was simultaneously the funniest/blatantly disrespectful thing I've seen in the cage for a long time - did you think you won the fight at that point?

A: At that point I wasn't even thinking I was just doing, all my actions just happen subconsciously.



Q: After eating an opening punch from Slicius, you immediately went for the takedown - were you not tempted to trade with him a little?

A: No, I was gonna stick to my gameplan of taking him down and dominating him on the ground, I knew that he was predominantly a kickboxer, so playing to his strengths would have been idiotic. There’s no point in making a fight hard for no reason. Obviously I'll come across someone down the line who I'll have to trade leather with, but if I don't have to, I won't. You don't get paid for overtime in the cage!



Q: After the takedown, you dragged Arunas from one side of the cage to the other, scoring the arm bar right in front of your corner - was it just to give them a better view?

A: Well I thought if I dragged him to the other side I would increase my probability of getting laid by showing off my hairy caveman body to more women than I would just one side... Oh and the slight strategic advantage of having my corner give me uplifting compliments like how nice my shorts are, and the fact that I have beautiful curly hair and such a fit, buff body.



Q: A number of your Team Terror Squad buddies were in action on the night - how did they all get on?

A: Well it was a really good night for Team Terror Squad - we won 4 out of 5. Ben Blake had a first round stoppage with a ground & pound onslaught as did Danny Lawson. Jonathan Williams fought a hard battle, he pulled off some beautiful takedowns and slams but his opponent had a real talent for getting back up to his feet. Eventually his opponent made the mistake of giving up his back and got RNC’d by Mr Williams FTW. My good friend Spencer Hewitt had his first loss unfortunately, he did really well, never got really beat up bad, but the other guy just nullified his strengths (Boxing & BJJ) with wrestling and G&P. This isn’t such a bad thing, he'll just go away and work on his weaknesses and come back better and stronger.



Q: What did you do to celebrate your victory? There's some rumours going around that you arm-barred a few kids in the pit of The Chariot gig...

A: Well... I never arm barred anyone... but… I did get caught by a flying knee to the face by some douche crowdsurfer. I kinda thought 'hmmmm that wasn't so bad'... until my nose started gushing blood like a tap ten seconds later... So I decided that I needed to clean up my already disfigured nose but didn't want to miss out on any of The Chariot pit filth, so I used a nearby scenesters white t-shirt as a makeshift tissue blowing vast amounts of claret and snot all over the pristine white shirt. The look of shock and disgust on his face was priceless, but I really don’t recommend trying this to anyone. Later on I drunkenly climbed my friend's roof ala Batman in an attempt to find sheltered accommodation due to losing my phone doing multiple cartwheels off the stage at The Chariot gig. Instead I scared her flatmate into believing she had a bearded rapist covered in blood on her roof and destroying a plastic bin in the process.. I had to repay the damages.... in waffles!



Q: Guessing this first taste of professional MMA fighting hasn't put you off - when is your next fight and what elements will you be looking to improve of your game?

A: Well CFC in June at the Circus Tavern seems to be on the cards. I’m always improving every area of my game, I still have a lot treats in my bag of secrets that I haven't had the chance to use yet... You'll have to wait and see.



Q: Normally at the end of a post-fight interview, the victor will thank his training partners, his sponsors, his kids, some random family member, finally finishing off with a shout out to God and an invite to an after-party - do you want to get that tacky business out of the way and add anything I've missed?

A: I would like to thank Boost bars for making my muscles huge like conkers and Chris Webb for being a legend... Oh and of course Farrell and TDON Records, The Phantom Knee, Alan Whitton of Fighter’s Mind, Ross & Spencer Hewitt, Carl Orris, Dev Singh, Lord Hell, The Chechen Muscle Force, Fruity, N. Dinnadge and my ever supportive family.


The official CWC video for Luc's fight can be seen here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmeshxwVCuY

Or if you prefer a flip cam view with us laughing and cheering in the background, go here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0dQ3E3Qqjo&feature=related

Thiago Silva: Extracting The Urine

Brandon Vera now has one of the more impressive excuses in UFC history and a possible 'NC' where there was once an 'L' on his record. The story behind it is unfolding to be one of the more intriguing in recent times. Mr Furay ponders this mystery...

Thiago Silva: Extracting The Urine...Literally

In possibly the funniest turn of events in not only MMA, but sport in general, Thiago Silva has admitted submitting a urine sample "not of human origin". Now we all know Thiago fought like a Silverback Gorilla with roid rage against Brandon Vera, even drumming a tune on Vera like he was a bongo at one stage, well maybe he is exactly that? Half man/half beast? A shaven Sasquatch, Bob Sapp with Vitiligo? The missing link even? The mind boggles.

Well our imaginations were brought to Earth with a bump when King Kong admitted to submitting an "adulterated sample". Adulterated? What does that mean? You fucked it behind your wife's back? Yeah you adulterated it alright Thiago, you adulterated it right up.

So now he's come clean about the whole thing, and said he will accept any punishment The NSAC hands him. WELL DONE THIAGO, NOT LIKE YOU HAD A CHOICE NOW IS IT!

There's a few questions I want answered right now...

1. Which animal did he get this sample from? Dog? Cat? Pig? Clay Guida?

2. Did it never cross his mind to submit another HUMAN sample? He should have asked Lyoto Machida, I'm certain he has plenty spare in the fridge.

3. If he wanted to dodge a drugs test, why didn't he go to Alistair Overeem? He's been doing it successfully for years. Oh no wait, I forgot, it's the horse meat.

Thiago Silva: Gives a whole new meaning to taking the piss.

UFC 128 and Fight Night 24: Bumper Edition

It's a bumper edition. Like a bulked up Zuluzinho, we're bringing you twice the fun courtesy of Mr Shayne Grier and Mr Ashley Dempsey. Once more we're building those transatlantic bridges of MMA love...

UFC 128: The Retrospection


“Shogun” Rua vs Jon Jones (Light Heavyweight Championship)

Fight Walk-In's

Rua has all this hype surrounding him about this come back fight after being out of action for months. The problem he has is, the time he used promoting he should of used training. As Jon Jones came out looking like the hare, Rua was resembling the tortoise, the difference is, he had no shell to hide into, he just sunk his head into 205 pounds of fat. As he stands there with his man boobs that put the ring girls to shame, you see his confidence slipping as he looks across at Jon Jones who's eyes tell him “Champion 2011” - which is what his autographs were also telling people.

First Round

As Jones smashes RUA with a knee, you see RUA's fat ripple as he realizes it's game over. From here on, Jones gives a head kick and easily moves out the way of Shogun's hook punch. Jones executes the perfect take down. RUA, who is too fat to sit up, then receives some elbows to the body which makes his flabby stomach look something like when you push down on a balloon before it pops. Jones remains on top choking him like a fat rag doll. Shogun finally gets up and walks around wobbling with both his legs and his gut like a bowl of jelly, he ends up on his back again and is dominated as the round comes to an end.

Second round

Jones starts the round with a football kick to RUA's face then he pins him up against the Octagon and smashes him open with a spinning back elbow. Both men exchange blows even though Shogun's don’t always connect, and when they do, they do NOTHING! Okay, maybe not “Nothing”, but it looked like Shogun was in slap fight, while Jones was inside the Matrix. Shogun ends up on his back again causing more tsunamis around the world with the reverb from his gut as Jon unloads. He then gets dominated as Jones puts his forearm in his throat and then continues to smash his fat face in. The round ends as Jones gets shogun in a leg lock and hammer fists him. The round ended yet you can see that last punch rocked him, wobbling to the corner hoping for a miracle.

Round Three

Shogun finally does something, he ducks under Jones legs as he tries to kick him and performs a takedown, Jones then easily gets out of it within seconds and then lays on top of him. As Jones is on top of shogun he digs his elbow into his belly which seemed to do more good than harm. He then performs some devastating punches and elbows which rock shogun, and as one of my favorite fight quotes says, “Put him on Queer Street”. Shogun manages to escape to his feet, but that is only a minor relief from his broken will and body. A Semi conscious Shogun staggers back to the fence as Jones gives him one last knee to the face (But he Rua was going down anyway) knocking him down. Shogun then taps at the same time as Herb Dean calls the bout to a stop. Its over, new UFC Champion, Jon Jones.

Brendan Schaub vs Mirko Crocop (Fight for Pride)

Round 1 Brendan forces Crocop to dance around the octagon as brendan throws some jabs and various other strikes. It looks promising for Crocop as he sweeps and dodges away. Schaub has Crocop against the fence and after some pinning he gets a warning for hitting the back of Crocops head. Then brendan takes Mirko down and after some minor struggling, he then performs some huge punches to Crocops head, Crocop unrocked but no doubt hurt manages to make a switch and stand, Brendan tries to take him down again but Mirko defends himself from it. Mirko ends up pinned against the fence again and both men exchange the punches as the round comes to an end.

Round 2

Brendan darts around throwing jabs that miss as Crocop makes him chase. After a missed head kick Brendan takes down shogun again. Schaub lays ontop off crop cop and gives him big right hands, he stands and before he can get in the upright position crop cop up kicks him off his knees. Herb dean warns him now and the fight goes back again as Crocop ends up against the fence again and they hold each others arms and exchange blows. Crop cop then maneuvers and gets Brendan against the fence and they keep reversing a couple of times. Brendan's nose gets busted wide open and blood pours over both fighters. Herb dean then deducts a point from Brendan for hitting the back of his head. Brendan looks tired.

Round 3

As soon as the round begins Brendan is kicked in the balls. As soon as it kicks off again both men exchange a flurry of punches as Brendan then takes down Crocop who kicks out of it. Brendan takes him down again and charges in to it like a bull, hes clearly pissed off and is now turning it on. Brendan beats down on Crocop who manages to get out again. Both men are now exchanging punches but Brendan looks more focused. Crocop defends another takedown and then he is punched in the head while coming in, he drops with shades of the Gonzoga fight. This one comes to an end with yet another loss to one of the most brutal strikers to ever fight MMA.



Urijah Faber vs Eddie Wineland (#1 Contender Match)

There are fights that look great on paper, then not only live up to the hype, they engulf it with fiery vengeance. This fight was quite the opposite. Multi-Promotioninal champion Urijah Faber vs Multi-Promitional champion Eddie Wineland was tuned to be a barn burner, it was more like a barn building.

The short of it was:

First Round – Eddie Won (Not that exciting)
Second Round – Urijah Won (Slightly more exciting)
Third Round – Urijah Won (Slightly less exciting)

Faber wins the fight via decision. The End. Now he is in line for his title shot. Hope it is more fun to watch then this one.


Fight Night 24 The Reflection


Anthony Johnson vs Dan Hardy

From the start a modest Dan Hardy seemed unnerved by the over competence of Anthony Johnson. Although both men gave it their all, it seemed to be a very one sided match. The very fact that Anthony Johnson headbutted Dan Hardy as clear as day without anyone mentioning it or picking it up emphasized that Anthony was both cocky and lucky. Dan did some good defense and attacks however his British charm was soon smashed off his face as an unanimous decision favored Johnson. The highlight of this fight was the exchange both men did in the second round, other than that it was a fairly uneventful fight. With three losses in a row for Hardy we can only assume he is on the verge of getting cut. The outlaw is going to have to start staying with his in-laws to save up money to pay for his hairdressing bills.


Chan Sung Jung vs Leonard Garcia (The Rematch to “Fight of the Decade”)

In comparison to the first fight, this wasn’t exactly the fight of the decade or even fight of the night. Both men were more than ready for this and although the anticipation was electric the fight was quite slow. Both men was pretty even matched although Garcia seemed to be stronger. However when they were both 'turning it on' it was a good bout. Garcia seemed to have delayed reaction time which left a wide open Chan Sung Jung without any such pressure. Garcia's take down defense was weak and this enabled Chan Sung Jung to perform the first ever Twister submission. Leonard Garcia even though he was seconds away for the round to end which would of saved him, still tapped. This means Garcia and Chan Sung Jung are now at a 1-1 tie with beating each other. The next rematch is no doubt going to be 'Fight of the Decade'.




2 UFC Event Awards El Special Edition



The Tsunami Garland Submission Award:

Winner: Chang Sung Jung – For treating Garcia's spine like an apple core and forcing him to tap with just one second left in the second round.


The Dude Where's My Car-Dio Award:

Winner: “Shogun” Rua – For losing the little bit of energy he did come into the fight with midway through the first round. This fight should have been a battle, but instead it turned into a new school beatdown.

The O.J. Simpson Award:

Winner: Anthony Johnson – For blatantly headbutting Dan Hardy and still being able hold down Hardy and ride that white Bronco in for the Unanimous decision.


The Counterstrike Award:

Winner: Erik Koch – For treating Raphel Assuncao to a sweet right hook that sent him crashing to the canvas like a tree cut down by the “Ax Men”. This was the first time Raphel had ever been knocked out in his seven year career. Just goes to show even the bull needs to use defense now and again.


The Amir Sadollah Rewind (I Doth Protest) Award:

Winner: TJ Waldburger – For getting knocked out by Johny Hendricks only to pop up complaining it was an early stoppage. Apparently Johny's secret weapon is his ability to make his opponents looked knocked out just long enough for the referee to stop the fight.


The No Bones About It Award:

Winner: Phil Davis – For controlling, beating up, and treating “Lil” Nog to a lesson in wrestling. Much like “Big” Noggers, “Lil” Noggers is past his prime and might consider hanging it up. Phil Davis is NOT Jon Jones even though the majority seems to compare them. That's not a bad thing at all because that means one day we actually get to see the two beasts go at it.

The Mrs. Doubtfire Award:

Winner: Chan Sung Jung – For coming into this fight with the most ridiculous looking haircut. I'd call it wig-like, however that would be an insult to all hairpieces.


The John Cena Award:

Winner: Mike Russow – For smashing Jon Madsen's left eye to a shade of violet that could only be called, “Holy Heliotrope”. The doctor stopped the fight between the second and third rounds saving Madsen from Russow finishing him off with one last “Five Knuckle Shuffle”.

TUF 12: A Mini Bloguette

Following the fallout from the explosive Ultimate Fighter Season 12 finale, our very own Troy Nelson looks at the legacy of everyone's favourite reality TV show.

What can you say about The Ultimate Fighter? Widely regarded as the zeitgeist capturing TV event that changed public perception towards the sport we love from 'No Holds Barred' fighting, to actually understanding the unbelievable levels of commitment (or not, in the case of that fat fuck Southworth) required to make it as a professional mixed martial artist.

Fast forward to present day, Season Twelve - Team GSP vs Team Koscheck reached a scintillating climax with Jonathan 'Merman' Brookins edging a decision over 'Not That' Michael Johnson. With his unstoppable takedowns, 'The Merman' joins other elite Ultimate Fighter winners such as Court McGee, Efrain Escudero, James Wilks and the world's toughest vegan Mac Danzig.

Now a lot of MMA commentators, in both print and online, have suggested that maybe the format has gotten a little stale. Hmmmm... I'm more likely inclined to blame the very mediocre fighters dutifully trotted out every few months for their shot at the 'bigtime' that we're supposed to get behind. Bruce Leeroy? He's not exactly Chris 'The Pisshead' Leben in terms of charisma or eccentricity is he?

In recent times, the only fighters who have actually looked 'world class' have been Roy Nelson (who already had a proven track record), Ryan Bader *shudders* and Ross Pearson (at a push). The last season that actually had compelling new combatants was Season Three. In 2006.

The Long Of It: UFC 123

We watched it, re-watched it, mocked it, argued over it and watched it again. Enough time has passed for us to digest what happened at UFC 123, but not enough to fully digest our 'Hughes' Hunter Pie'. Much of that still lingers...

Enough about our troubling bowel movements, we'll leave you in the capable hands of Mr Shayne Grier as he gives you the long of it.

UFC 123 after-MATH(s)


Lyoto Machida

Problem: Machida's style.


Yes, it is elusive, smart, and strategic. However, eighty-five percent of the time it's about as fun to watch as a pickle rolling down a grassy knoll. Every other fighter has figured out the pattern that is, "The Chida". Side-step, side-step, faint a jab, stutter step, flying knee/punch combo, rinse and repeat. Anyone with half the patience of a Buford "Mad Dog" Tannen will be able to implement a game plan to get the decision victory.

Solution: Make him fight in an Octagon with a 12 ft diameter instead of a 30 ft one.


This way, he will be so conditioned to fighting in a smaller space that as soon as he takes two to three of those Karate back steps, he will think his back is against the cage. He will then clinch and attempt one of his trademark Karate/Sumo throws. Not only will this confuse and disorient his opponent it will make for an instant classic within the first ten seconds of every fight. The most dangerous fighters are the ones with their backs against the cage. Just ask Kimbo Slice; Oh, wait, maybe that isn't the best example.


B.J. Penn

Problem: Baby Jay's road back to Georgie Porgie.


Can B.J. Penn beat most Welterweights? Absolutely. Can he beat George St. Pierre? Never. Don't get me wrong, Mr. Penn is one of the best fighters in the history of the sport, I just don't see how, even on his best day he could stop the takedowns of the handsome Canadian Snuggie. I would love nothing more than for Penn to destroy a few of the Welterweights the UFC puts in front of him. Once he gets that shot we can only hope G.S.P. has suffered another "Serra" and isn't the opponent the Baby has to Hula dance for the title.

Solution: Surgically amputate his left leg below the knee.


Being twenty pounds lighter, Penn could make the drop to the UFC's newly forged Bantamweight division and wreak some havoc. Even with only his right leg B.J. would dominate the lollipop kids of that division. We all know how amazing he is at hopping around on one leg to defend take-downs, this solution would just cut out the middle man.


Judging

Problem: Um, the Judges


50% of people say it is spot on 100% of the time and the other 50% say it is way less than that. After studying the judges criteria for judging a fight there is no wonder to the reasons why judges see fights differently. Sure there are four main categories in the judging of a fight; clean strikes, effective grappling, octagon control, and effective aggressiveness. Seems simple enough except for the fact that within those categories there are TWENTY sub categories the judges are to be watching for during the fight. Seems pretty convoluted to me. Add that to the fact that 50% of the judges don't even know what the word convoluted means (SEE: Cecil Peoples), how can we blame them? We should blame the criteria for its Matrix like storyline.

Solution: Referees judge bouts


Have two referees who are not officiating the bout judge it from the ring apron on opposite sides of the cage and the final judge is the referee inside the cage. There should be no other group of individuals who are better suited to see who has actually won the fight. Most referees train, or have trained, in some form of mixed martial arts and are completely aware of all aspects of the fight game. How many sanctioned MMA judges can say that? Yes, I'm looking at you Nelson Hamilton! If this brilliant idea fails then we just abolish all judges, go old school on this Mofo, and have them fight like they're on the middle school playground; Fight until one opponent says 'uncle' or has to go home for dinner.


Final Pluses and Minuses of UFC 123

Plus: Watching Matt Hughes (Once again) ask, "What happened"?
Minus: Falcão's third round audition for the next season of "The Amazing Race".
Plus: Phil Davis inventing "The Mr. Wonderful" submission and crushing Tim Boetsch's arm with it.
Minus: Joe Lauzon's ears not being big enough to save him from the Sotiropoulos kimura.
Plus: Call of Duty: Black Ops being the official sponsor because I am always happy to have a few more noobs to blow up with my RC-XD.
Minus: The time keeper of the Harris vs Falcão fight needing a new monocle for reading seven seconds left as zero.


Our pluses and minuses were as follows:

Plus: Tom Lawlor was undefeated for this entire event.
Minus: So was Josh Koscheck.
Plus: Manly venison in a pie.
Minus: Manly stomach pains.
Plus: It was one of the best overall British performances for a card this year.
Minus: It was one of the best overall British performances for a card this year.
Plus: Hahahaha, Nik Lentz.
Minus: Machida Karate :(

Have we missed anything about 123? Feel free to tell us. We know you want to...

TPK's Revised Rules of MMA - Part One: The Coleman Clause

Following on from our '10 Ways To Improve MMA' we bring you: 'The Revised Rules Of MMA'. Why? Because we are the way, people.

THIS IS ALL FOR YOUR OWN GOOD.

We're bringing you the sweet and sexy MMAids courtesy of Mr Brendan Rowe.

Warning: This blog may require the reader to have a knowledge of MMA that extends beyond the UFC...

Part One: The Coleman Clause.


1 - Even if the rules state otherwise, Mark Coleman is allowed to strike his opponent any way he wants, with any part of his body that he wants, until such time that he scores a KO or TKO.

A - His opponents are never allowed to do the same, ever.
B - If Coleman is submitted, he gets a mulligan in the form of one free shot to any part of the body of his opponent.


2 - In the event of a round or fight ending due to time out, Coleman gets a one-minute grace period in which he pins his opponent in North/South or a sprawl until he scores a TKO via knee strikes.

3 - Should his opponent break a limb during combat, the opponent's team must sit on the sidelines and watch while their man gets thumped.

A - Only Wanderlei Silva may enter the ring, regardless of affiliation.

1 - Wanderlei Silva must be present at every fight Coleman is at.
2 - Rampage must also be present.

B - Herb Dean is allowed to use tranquilizer darts if Coleman's blood lust hasn't been sated.

C - Phil Baroni must be choked out, regardless of where he is, every time this happens.