Ten Things We Would Do If We Were Brock For The Day:
Fun though it would be to 'be John Malkovich', we can't help but think more joy could be had from inhabiting the body of the UFC's current 265 pound champ. So much fun in fact, that we've compiled a list of the horseplay we'd get up to.
10. Drink a Coors Light.
(Because Bud Light won't pay me nothin'...)
9. Get on top of the wife.
8. Get that f-ing dick lasered off our chest.
7. Paint our entire body green for UFC 116 after warning Shane Carwin that he 'wouldn't like me when I'm angry' at the weigh-ins.
6. Release a press statement indicating that we intend to cut 100 pounds and go after welterweight pantomime villain, Josh Koscheck.
5. DDT an opponent.
(We're aware that this probably wasn't one of HIS moves. Le sigh...)
4. Bankroll our own remake of the A Team with Brock Lesnar as B.A, Brock Lesnar as Face, Brock Lesnar as Murdock and starring Brock Lesnar as Hannibal.
3. Threaten to invade France should they not comply with our inordinately unreasonable demands.
2. Invade France.
1. Campaign to be the next Governer of California with threats of extreme violence and torture for those who don't 'VOTE BROCK' and promises of something similar to those who do.
The Lesnar will be facing Shane Carwin at UFC 116 on July 3rd to compete for the title of undisputed UFC heavyweight.
