The Brazilian Chuck Norris

Mr Harry Borovick pays homage to Chuck Norris' illegitimate son, Jose Aldo.

Firstly, I should clarify: Jose Aldo is not Chuck Norris' son, But if this were true, it would be better than if the UFC's very own Chuck had retired when everyone-but-him knew he should have. In light of this, here are 5 facts you never new about our favourite miniature Brazilian.

1. Jose Aldo's kicks hit so hard he doesn't have to kick a tree to cut it down. He kicks Urijah Faber and a tree falls because its scared.
2. Jose Aldo makes money on the side of fighting by killing cows via face punch for Burger King.
3. Jose Aldo doesn't give a shit, he is the shit.
4. If he gets angry he kicks everything he sees until Dana White hunts him down and fills him full of tranquillizer darts, like a Rhino.
5. Jose Aldo can beat the Incredible Hulk in a "how fast can you KO Cub Swanson" contest.

10 Reasons To Support Cage Warriors

As with every MMA event I've attended in this country, there's a checklist of things I expect when I attend:

- to be abused or threatened by the drunken cavemen (they tend to hunt in packs)
- to be the smallest person in the venue by a very long way (this includes the women)
- to feel completely out of place and question my love for the sport within the first few minutes of arriving
- that guilty sense of pleasure I get whenever enjoying watching MMA live

If all of the above are checked off then I know it's been a good night.

Last Sunday at Cage Warriors 41 at the hmv Forum in Kentish Town, the list was emphatically checked off and then checked again just for good measure. I guess I bring it on myself...

With the above in mind, I bring you my 10 Reason To Get Behind Cage Warriors:

1. YOU CAN AFFORD TO ATTEND
2. The progress made between each event is blindingly obvious, from the production values to the fights themselves
3. Adam Edwards' phenomenal Baywatch theme walkout. We salute you, Sir.
4. They don't host at Time and Envy/Liquid and Chav/Stab and Envy
5. You might see Luc Lamude there in the near future...
6. An abundance of stools in between rounds
7. The promotion helps to further the careers of up and coming prospect fighters
8. YOU WILL ENJOY
9. Oh yeah, the fights. Them fights is good.
10. And I guess this only applies to the Brits, but you've got to support your own, haven't you?

We came, we saw, we loudly debated which fighter was sexiest as they walked by, we offended a red headed gentleman, we witnessed the burning canvas damage first hand (f*** you, James McSweeney*) and, despite a Baywatch inspired walkout not automatically being awarded the W, we loved every second of it.

With Cage Warriors 43 just announced I'll expect to see even more of you there. Maybe you can give me shit at the bar? :)





*It's a long story which resulted in receiving the following tweet from McSweeney himself:

@thephantomknee @jackstonemason y dont u do rub cream on his feet! Then bend over and let him take you aswell


Sexy stuff, James. We'll get the FlipCam...

$100 Says Shields Wins at UFC 129

Disclaimer - We in no way endorse or encourage gambling.

OK, with that business out of the way - let's have some fun. With UFC 129: GSP Vs Shields almost upon us, it's time for Knee founder Jimbo Slice to put his money where his mouth is. Martin Ives explains...



Thinking back, one of the first UFC bouts I ever really paid attention to involved Georges St Pierre - what really struck me about him was his methodical, no-wasted-motion approach to fighting, and his eye watering budgie smugglers. I decided on that day that I'd never bet against this impressive physical specimen. My dear friend Jimbo has other ideas...

Let's take it back a little, before the Phantom Knee, we were just a bunch of mates getting together, drinking beer, eating meat and watching fighting. My ex-girlfriend used to call it 'Getting your man on' and I suppose it was. The purest celebration of masculinity known to, well, man. Once Jimbo had mastered the art of pulling an all-nighter coupled with all the trappings of 'getting his man on', we started having good natured bets amongst ourselves. Everyone loves a prediction right? - it's a metaphorical cock measuring contest - a battle to the death! I remember at UFC 101, I rather stupidly bet Jimbo £10 that Forrest would beat Silva. 5 minutes later, I ended up handing over £20, as I was so ashamed. The man was like a talisman - he'd get 10/12 predictions right. So once he'd cleaned me out for the last time, we started placing bets online. 50/50 and we'd back his picks. Well, what can I tell you? It all went very wrong very quickly - the luck dried up, and we'd seldom win anything of note. So we stopped. We lost the lucky rabbit's foot.

Fast forward to UFC 121, after Jake Shield's workmanlike victory over Martin Kampmann that saw him declared #1 contender, Jimbo immediately declared that Shields would beat GSP. On the strength of that performance alone, I thought he was mental. Here we are, one week before UFC 129, and he's getting me to look up the odds.

Now, as much as I think it's a bit weird that most pundits are already looking past Jake Shields, and waffling on about a GSP vs Anderson Silva superfight at the end of the year, I still have serious doubts Shields will pull off the upset. He has an amazing record, but he hasn't faced anyone like GSP, he's an underwear model with sick takedowns! However, under his instruction, Jimbo has given me £65 (around $100) to place on Jake Shields. So off to Paddypower.com I go!



His first instruction is £50 on the nose for a Shields win - at the current odds, this will return £225.



Also worth a go at 33-1 was a Shields win in Round 5 - a £5 flutter would return £170.



Unlikely as it sounds, a Shields KO/TKO is 20-1, so a fiver would net you £105. I've never seen anyone get knocked out in a pillow fight, but who knows?!



This is where it gets interesting, as Shields is a submission specialist, the odds on him winning by submission are surprisingly good, £5 at 9-1 odds brings in £50. GSP hasn't been submitted in 7 years.



So, with every avenue covered, the bet is being placed. Best case scenario, Shields wins by TKO in round 5 - Jimbo Slice is £500 richer, and he'd better get the boozes in. Has he got balls the size of watermelons, or is he a deluded fool? Would you click OK? Put it this way, if he wins, he'll be louder than the 55,000 people in attendance at the event!

Knowing Knee, Knowing You: Adam Edwards

On Easter Sunday, up-and-coming British featherweight contender Adam Edwards steps into the cage with undefeated Swede Niklas Backstrom at Cage Warriors #41. Since he’s no stranger to Dagenham or tattoos, we thought we’d get Martin Ives to ask him about grappling with animals and urban discipline.



Q: What is your martial arts background? What disciplines have you trained in and for how long?

I am BJJ Brown Belt, training at the MMA clinic, under/alongside the legendary Michael Russell, Thai Boxing fight experience under the tutelage of Chris 'My Hero' Carley and Head MMA coach Paul 'I love BJJ' Hines. All in all I’ve been training close to 10 years now.

Q: What was the catalyst for taking up MMA?

For me, it's the challenge. I’m not a thug, I like the opportunity to put my nice demeanour of everyday life to one side for 3x5's. I don't wish any ill will upon anyone I fight. Their unfortunate discomfort is an ends to a means of my competitive nature. I go for the win, not to make up numbers.

Q: Your Cage Warriors record is 2-0 by submission - do you anticipate a submission victory on Sunday?

Actually its 3-0, I fought many many moons ago when I was a mere wet necked blue belt. It was Cage Warriors #5 verses a gentleman of the sport,Ozzy Haluk. 

Q: At this level, how much consideration do you give to an opponent's previous fights or do you concentrate on your own game?

I research my opponent' s vids whenever I can. I expect the worse situation and I deal with it.  

Q: By day you are a tattoo artist, does the fear of a hand injury, which could rob you of your livelihood, dictate your fighting style?

It's in the back of my mind, but fearing it too much would not allow me to do my deed.

Q: Since you work with ink, in your opinion, who has the best/worst tattoos in MMA?

Best tattoos in MMA? I would have to say are worn by some of my team members ;)  One that is possibly the most powerful- as everyone knows it, is Roger Huerta's Tribal piece. Worst is a Heavyweight's giant penis sword.

Q: As a Dagenham resident, London's poorest borough with the lowest life expectancy - do you think this living environment has toughened you up?

A little-I’m quite agile on me feet and a good runner as a result! Joking aside, I have to repeatedly explain to people I’m not interested in street fighting. I love competitive fighting, structured rules, where we're all on the same page, where we can do the same to each other - I have no issue with someone punching me as hard as possible, because I can and will return the favour - It's a fair fight.


Q: What is the largest animal you could submit?

I've rolled with a few shaved silverbacks - especially back in the days when I used to wrestle the absolutes (no -gi). I would like to see if I could kimura a chimp - crazy flexibility and power. If it got out it'd be pissed, quick footwork and a cheeky toe punt in the jacobs would solve that!




Q: Do you believe in the Phantom Knee?

Question is… Does the Phantom Knee believe in me? Believe!

The end credits:

Huge huge thanks to all my family, for understanding the commitment and sacrifices we all make in eye of my goal, my beautiful wife for being so tolerant, more so around the weight cut. Also www.themmaclinic.com – for being part of such a positive team, Alan at www.fightersmind.co.uk and Bret at www.conceptfitnessuk.com

Mr Edwards is brought to you by:

Chameleons Custom Tattoos
Facebook Group

Fedor: The Legacy

Following his almighty beasting at the hands of Bigfoot Silva in the Strikeforce Heavyweight Grand Prix, a lot has been made of where Fedor goes from here. Is now the time to call it day? Go out gracefully? Will his evil overlords even let him? It would appear not. So who's next for the fallen icon?

A HW fight with the current LHW champion, of course...

Anyway, Mr Harry Borovick takes a look at the legacy of Fedor and his imprint on MMA:

31-3-1 is an exceptionally impressive record for any type of modern professional combatant. But is a world-class record enough to really build a world-class legacy? This writer thinks not. Fedor will either be remembered by many as the greatest heavyweight to ever step into the cage, or as the most over-hyped, over-protected and over-lauded fighter that has arguably done more to damage the image of the sport than any other athlete in recent times (Jose Canseco doesn't count).

The way in which "The Last Emperor" allowed himself to be managed by the M-1global businessmen such as Vadim Finkelstein showed he did not respect MMA as a sport whatsoever. Those who respect the rise of mixed martial arts as a legitimate form of sports entertainment understand its popularity and growth stems from unified management by organizations rather than selective promoters (a la boxing). This has eliminated much of the ego in the forming of deals and the staging of fights. A fighter signs a contract, and then he consents to do whatever that organization tells him to do. At the very core of Dana White's success (and to some extent CEOs such as Scott Coker and Bjorn Rebney) is his establishment of who's the boss between them and their fighters. Obviously fighters have to be respected to a certain extent as they are the show-piece and the actual mechanism for profit, but no fighter is so exceptionally valuable that he out-values the entire organization for which he fights for. Even fighters such as Georges St. Pierre, the most marketable athlete in MMA, understands that their career and success depends on good fights, strong promotion and the health of the sport in general.

Fedor's time as a great fighter was up when he got demolished twice in two fights, even he had to admit that. It is in a way ridiculous that he would not have been fighting for Strikeforce, but would have been in the UFC fighting for a considerably higher sum and a better deal if he had not consented to the poor management of M-1. I say this is ridiculous because Fedor's record was only built up in the first place because of such extraordinarily selective fight choices up until that point. This shows that not only has poor management in Fedor's case by his manager Vadim Finkelstein built a fake legacy around a fighter, but that it has damaged the sport as a whole because when a fighter is built up so highly and then is knocked down so easily it damages the legitimacy of a sport. When there is such a high level of professionalism all fights are expected to be highly competitive, close, and entertaining. Watching Fedor he has been none of these for a considerable period of time, something which is highly concerning for anyone who cares about the health of this sport.

M-1, Vadim Finkelstein and others of the same school of management need to leave MMA well alone if the sport is ever to grow and be respected universally. This is by no means a dying sport like boxing, however it is certainly increasingly restrained by unscrupulous people trying to take advantage of sportsmen to make a quick buck and further purely selfish ambitions.

MMA Conspiracies

Dear faithful followers of The Knee,

Last time I spoke to you I had an idea about the future of one of the most superior heavyweights in the MMA world. For those who haven't read it yet (shame on you!) you can find my first article here:

http://thephantomknee.blogspot.com/2010/11/new-obsession.html

Much has happened since I wrote that article 5 months ago (Wow, time flies) and the MMA world has been shaken up by the most aggressive purchase since Pride being bought.

So my guess that Overeem would make it to the UFC will eventually come true, just in a different way than I expected.

I intend on making this a bi-weekly article series which I will submit to The Phantom Knee entitled "MMA Conspiracies". The series will be based on my opinions and thoughts on the MMA world and hopefully I might actually be right about some of them. The most important aspect of this will of course be you, the reader, giving your insight on the topics I bring to the table, so I hope you will all enjoy it and chime in on the comments section.

This weeks theory:

Nate Marquardt moving to welterweight may be the first sign of Georges St Pierre moving to middleweight, and how this can evolve into a middleweight super fight between GSP and Anderson Silva on New Years Eve.

I first heard about Nate making the cut to welterweight in a tweet made by him advertising an article called "Making the cut: The science behind Nate Marquardt's cut to welterweight". This immediately sparked an interest with me. Why would Nate be cutting to welterweight? He's already a big middleweight who cuts to make 185, why go all the way down to 170? What could be in it for him?

Nate's last few fights in my opinion have been lackluster and he's not getting any younger. The first thing that came to mind is that he's looking to make a title run in the division he feels he can dominate the most. Middleweight is a tough division, with the arguable best pound for pound fighter in the world at the top, who Nate has already fought and lost to. So making a cut to welterweight could be a "path of least resistance" type move for him.

But that did not satisfy my curiosity. Nate is a fighter, he wants to fight the best, isn't that what this is about? So I took to Twitter to do some investigating and get some words from the man himself. What was discussed may surprise you.

Based on what he was tweeting, unable to actually read the article since I was at work at the time I reached out to Nate:

@NathanMarquardt So did you talk to @GeorgeStPierre before doing this? Will you fight him if you get to the top?

@SeanPeconi Read the article:-)


At this point I was on lunch break and able to skim through the article on my phone, looking for the part specifically on GSP. In which Nate says they are not against the idea of fighting each other.

The conversation continued with me replying:

@NathanMarquardt you wont fight george.The way I see this playing out, gsp beats shields, ufc does gsp silva.Gsp goes to middle win-win

Some time passed and I realized if I wanted to get anything out of Nate I had to up the ante.

@NathanMarquardt ill make you a bet on gsp going to middle if he beats shields..if he does you owe me a set of fight gloves autographed by you. If he doesn't ill make a 100 dollar donation to any charity you choose. Deal?

@NathanMarquardt don't be scared homie ;)

A bit of time passes and the offer is accepted.

@SeanPeconi haha! Ok deal:-)

@SeanPeconi well gloves that is:-) I keep my fight gloves:-)

This was beyond anything that I had expected. Not only did I get a response from Nate but the offer was actually accepted!

Going back to the theory..

I just cannot fathom a fighter with as much potential as Nate going to welterweight for no specific reason, there has to be some sort of a game plan behind it. GSP and Nate train together and in the “Making the cut” article it reads that they only spar and train together once in awhile, but I can't help but believe this is about trying to go the way of Ceaser Gracie or Greg Jackson's camps and want to have a number of champions amongst their ranks. It makes sense, the more top fighters and champions you have in your camp the better it is for everyone.

Let's change gears to the second part of my theory that involves George St Pierre making the jump to middleweight:

We now have Anderson Silva's next title defense against Yushin Okami at UFC Rio on August 27th . George St Pierre fights on April 30th, lets do the math because there is yet another theory in it.

Assuming GSP beats Shields on April 30th this leaves 4 months before August 27th. Now let's also assume that Anderson continues in his fine form of dominating the middleweight division, this is where things get interesting as I believe that if the stars align properly with GSP and Anderson winning their title fights respectively, this can create a a middleweight super fight on New Years Eve.

September 1st to December 31st leaves more than enough time for Anderson to prepare for a fight within his own weight class or even a possible catchweight. May 1st to December 31st leaves George St Pierre 8 months to do what he calls "The proper weight gain" to move up to middleweight.

There is a lot going in the world of MMA, some of it business and some of it being what I call "Inter-politics". Is there a chance Nate is making a move to make a run at the welterweight title with all of it riding on George St Pierre's shoulders to beat Shields, then crossing fingers Anderson Silva defeats Yushin Okami? Only time will tell, and like my first theory it may or may not happen the way it is envisioned too.

Thanks again for reading!

Sean Peconi


Don't just take Sean's word for it, here's what 'The Great' himself said about the situation back in November. It's all starting to add up...

http://www.mmafighting.com/2010/11/10/nate-marquardt-stands-between-gsp-silva-dream-fight/

I guess another question could be: Did he jump or was he pushed? Hmmmmmmmm.

Staying British In The Face Of Defeat

So, another title shot, another loss. Another compilation of soul destroying images burnt forever into the retinas. It'll be a long time before we forget the sight of Nick Diaz dragging the camera towards Paul Daley to televise his struggle getting onto the stool to receive medical attention. Deplorable, of course...

...And yet, pride. As with every British sporting defeat there was that overwhelming stirring of national pride. The kind that has you on your feet, single tear running down the cheek as you struggle to remember past the first few lines of 'God save the Queen' *. It's that semi-satisfying sensation that only comes with being a plucky runner-up (not to be confused with quarter-final-exit-dejection). To put it into perspective: it's the difference between Dan Hardy Vs. GSP and Dan Hardy Vs. Carlos Condit. We may not have won the belt, but we won the hearts of those watching. It's a singularly British feeling that comes with years upon years of national practice at falling at the last hurdle or just before that, even.

I, for one, am f***ing sick of it.

'He came so close!'

'If only!'

'Early stoppage!'

I welcome the day when I have no need to use these tired, defeated, 'nearly man' exclamations. We're 0-2 in major title fights and potentially a long way from the next one (sorry Count, we both know it's true). Until the day Rob 'The Bear' Broughton takes his rightful place upon the reinforced heavyweight throne, it's going to be one hell of a dry spell.

So what now? Learn some takedown defence? We finally find the man willing to stand with a 'classic British striker' and he goes and f***s the whole thing up by being the resoundingly better boxer. Clearly somebody needs to give Mr Diaz a little history lesson on Britain and boxing/striking. Very rude.

With the above cathartic outpourings contenting our strained British souls for now, we at The Phantom Knee salute you Mr Paul Daley for being the closest runner-up we've had so far. You truly gave us a genuine 'He came so close!' to scream at our televisions (for those of us who actually paid) and the knowledge that, this time, we actually gave them a run for their money. Even if it was just under one round.

Always the bridesmaid, never the bride, we look to the future. Just maybe...





Mr Jimbo Slice

twitter.com/thephantomknee
twitter.com/Mr_Jimbo_Slice

* Of course I know all the words.

The Aftermath: An Interview With Luc Lamude

We recently interviewed our good friend and future MMA prospect, Luc Lamude, prior to his professional debut. Following his first round submission victory, we wanted to check in on the welterweight and take another look into his unique mind...



Q: Fresh from your 'blink and you'll miss it' victory, did you think it would end so quickly?

A: I go in mentally and physically prepared to fight a full five rounds if I have to I never underestimate an opponent nor do I give them any respect that I wouldn't hesitate to KO or submit them in the first minute.



Q: The mood of the audience noticeably changed when you made your entrance - was that the desired reaction?

A: To be honest I was completely oblivious to what the crowd was doing, whether it was positive or negative. I could feel a massive amount of energy in the air which is a good thing, as it intensifies my fight state and gives me Godlike energy to create spirit bombs and summon laser rain.



Q: Your flamboyant in cage persona visibly rattled Slicius - deliberate ploy or nerves? Did he attempt to play any minds games with you before the bout?

A: That's a hard one to explain... I've competed many times before in BJJ and have always had a slightly 'exotic' pre-fight warm up and persona to boot, which would always draw a lot of attention. I don’t really plan what I’m going to do I just feel it; it’s like going into character or switching personality. I kinda knew that to having an actual ring entrance with music, in front of a large audience would really bring out that alter ego.

I think the unorthodox behaviour and odd body language is just a by-product of my mental state, it visually lets the other guy know that he's in trouble and I'm here to go hard. It's more instinctive than logical or tactical even. Unlike his intentional ploy to play mind games with me, hitting a brick wall with his fists and roaring like a wild boar outside my locker room to psyche me out... He must have forgotten that walls don't usually try to double leg you and then try and snap your arm in an armlock...





Q: The pec-flexing during the referee's instructions was simultaneously the funniest/blatantly disrespectful thing I've seen in the cage for a long time - did you think you won the fight at that point?

A: At that point I wasn't even thinking I was just doing, all my actions just happen subconsciously.



Q: After eating an opening punch from Slicius, you immediately went for the takedown - were you not tempted to trade with him a little?

A: No, I was gonna stick to my gameplan of taking him down and dominating him on the ground, I knew that he was predominantly a kickboxer, so playing to his strengths would have been idiotic. There’s no point in making a fight hard for no reason. Obviously I'll come across someone down the line who I'll have to trade leather with, but if I don't have to, I won't. You don't get paid for overtime in the cage!



Q: After the takedown, you dragged Arunas from one side of the cage to the other, scoring the arm bar right in front of your corner - was it just to give them a better view?

A: Well I thought if I dragged him to the other side I would increase my probability of getting laid by showing off my hairy caveman body to more women than I would just one side... Oh and the slight strategic advantage of having my corner give me uplifting compliments like how nice my shorts are, and the fact that I have beautiful curly hair and such a fit, buff body.



Q: A number of your Team Terror Squad buddies were in action on the night - how did they all get on?

A: Well it was a really good night for Team Terror Squad - we won 4 out of 5. Ben Blake had a first round stoppage with a ground & pound onslaught as did Danny Lawson. Jonathan Williams fought a hard battle, he pulled off some beautiful takedowns and slams but his opponent had a real talent for getting back up to his feet. Eventually his opponent made the mistake of giving up his back and got RNC’d by Mr Williams FTW. My good friend Spencer Hewitt had his first loss unfortunately, he did really well, never got really beat up bad, but the other guy just nullified his strengths (Boxing & BJJ) with wrestling and G&P. This isn’t such a bad thing, he'll just go away and work on his weaknesses and come back better and stronger.



Q: What did you do to celebrate your victory? There's some rumours going around that you arm-barred a few kids in the pit of The Chariot gig...

A: Well... I never arm barred anyone... but… I did get caught by a flying knee to the face by some douche crowdsurfer. I kinda thought 'hmmmm that wasn't so bad'... until my nose started gushing blood like a tap ten seconds later... So I decided that I needed to clean up my already disfigured nose but didn't want to miss out on any of The Chariot pit filth, so I used a nearby scenesters white t-shirt as a makeshift tissue blowing vast amounts of claret and snot all over the pristine white shirt. The look of shock and disgust on his face was priceless, but I really don’t recommend trying this to anyone. Later on I drunkenly climbed my friend's roof ala Batman in an attempt to find sheltered accommodation due to losing my phone doing multiple cartwheels off the stage at The Chariot gig. Instead I scared her flatmate into believing she had a bearded rapist covered in blood on her roof and destroying a plastic bin in the process.. I had to repay the damages.... in waffles!



Q: Guessing this first taste of professional MMA fighting hasn't put you off - when is your next fight and what elements will you be looking to improve of your game?

A: Well CFC in June at the Circus Tavern seems to be on the cards. I’m always improving every area of my game, I still have a lot treats in my bag of secrets that I haven't had the chance to use yet... You'll have to wait and see.



Q: Normally at the end of a post-fight interview, the victor will thank his training partners, his sponsors, his kids, some random family member, finally finishing off with a shout out to God and an invite to an after-party - do you want to get that tacky business out of the way and add anything I've missed?

A: I would like to thank Boost bars for making my muscles huge like conkers and Chris Webb for being a legend... Oh and of course Farrell and TDON Records, The Phantom Knee, Alan Whitton of Fighter’s Mind, Ross & Spencer Hewitt, Carl Orris, Dev Singh, Lord Hell, The Chechen Muscle Force, Fruity, N. Dinnadge and my ever supportive family.


The official CWC video for Luc's fight can be seen here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmeshxwVCuY

Or if you prefer a flip cam view with us laughing and cheering in the background, go here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0dQ3E3Qqjo&feature=related

Thiago Silva: Extracting The Urine

Brandon Vera now has one of the more impressive excuses in UFC history and a possible 'NC' where there was once an 'L' on his record. The story behind it is unfolding to be one of the more intriguing in recent times. Mr Furay ponders this mystery...

Thiago Silva: Extracting The Urine...Literally

In possibly the funniest turn of events in not only MMA, but sport in general, Thiago Silva has admitted submitting a urine sample "not of human origin". Now we all know Thiago fought like a Silverback Gorilla with roid rage against Brandon Vera, even drumming a tune on Vera like he was a bongo at one stage, well maybe he is exactly that? Half man/half beast? A shaven Sasquatch, Bob Sapp with Vitiligo? The missing link even? The mind boggles.

Well our imaginations were brought to Earth with a bump when King Kong admitted to submitting an "adulterated sample". Adulterated? What does that mean? You fucked it behind your wife's back? Yeah you adulterated it alright Thiago, you adulterated it right up.

So now he's come clean about the whole thing, and said he will accept any punishment The NSAC hands him. WELL DONE THIAGO, NOT LIKE YOU HAD A CHOICE NOW IS IT!

There's a few questions I want answered right now...

1. Which animal did he get this sample from? Dog? Cat? Pig? Clay Guida?

2. Did it never cross his mind to submit another HUMAN sample? He should have asked Lyoto Machida, I'm certain he has plenty spare in the fridge.

3. If he wanted to dodge a drugs test, why didn't he go to Alistair Overeem? He's been doing it successfully for years. Oh no wait, I forgot, it's the horse meat.

Thiago Silva: Gives a whole new meaning to taking the piss.