UFC 128 and Fight Night 24: Bumper Edition

It's a bumper edition. Like a bulked up Zuluzinho, we're bringing you twice the fun courtesy of Mr Shayne Grier and Mr Ashley Dempsey. Once more we're building those transatlantic bridges of MMA love...

UFC 128: The Retrospection


“Shogun” Rua vs Jon Jones (Light Heavyweight Championship)

Fight Walk-In's

Rua has all this hype surrounding him about this come back fight after being out of action for months. The problem he has is, the time he used promoting he should of used training. As Jon Jones came out looking like the hare, Rua was resembling the tortoise, the difference is, he had no shell to hide into, he just sunk his head into 205 pounds of fat. As he stands there with his man boobs that put the ring girls to shame, you see his confidence slipping as he looks across at Jon Jones who's eyes tell him “Champion 2011” - which is what his autographs were also telling people.

First Round

As Jones smashes RUA with a knee, you see RUA's fat ripple as he realizes it's game over. From here on, Jones gives a head kick and easily moves out the way of Shogun's hook punch. Jones executes the perfect take down. RUA, who is too fat to sit up, then receives some elbows to the body which makes his flabby stomach look something like when you push down on a balloon before it pops. Jones remains on top choking him like a fat rag doll. Shogun finally gets up and walks around wobbling with both his legs and his gut like a bowl of jelly, he ends up on his back again and is dominated as the round comes to an end.

Second round

Jones starts the round with a football kick to RUA's face then he pins him up against the Octagon and smashes him open with a spinning back elbow. Both men exchange blows even though Shogun's don’t always connect, and when they do, they do NOTHING! Okay, maybe not “Nothing”, but it looked like Shogun was in slap fight, while Jones was inside the Matrix. Shogun ends up on his back again causing more tsunamis around the world with the reverb from his gut as Jon unloads. He then gets dominated as Jones puts his forearm in his throat and then continues to smash his fat face in. The round ends as Jones gets shogun in a leg lock and hammer fists him. The round ended yet you can see that last punch rocked him, wobbling to the corner hoping for a miracle.

Round Three

Shogun finally does something, he ducks under Jones legs as he tries to kick him and performs a takedown, Jones then easily gets out of it within seconds and then lays on top of him. As Jones is on top of shogun he digs his elbow into his belly which seemed to do more good than harm. He then performs some devastating punches and elbows which rock shogun, and as one of my favorite fight quotes says, “Put him on Queer Street”. Shogun manages to escape to his feet, but that is only a minor relief from his broken will and body. A Semi conscious Shogun staggers back to the fence as Jones gives him one last knee to the face (But he Rua was going down anyway) knocking him down. Shogun then taps at the same time as Herb Dean calls the bout to a stop. Its over, new UFC Champion, Jon Jones.

Brendan Schaub vs Mirko Crocop (Fight for Pride)

Round 1 Brendan forces Crocop to dance around the octagon as brendan throws some jabs and various other strikes. It looks promising for Crocop as he sweeps and dodges away. Schaub has Crocop against the fence and after some pinning he gets a warning for hitting the back of Crocops head. Then brendan takes Mirko down and after some minor struggling, he then performs some huge punches to Crocops head, Crocop unrocked but no doubt hurt manages to make a switch and stand, Brendan tries to take him down again but Mirko defends himself from it. Mirko ends up pinned against the fence again and both men exchange the punches as the round comes to an end.

Round 2

Brendan darts around throwing jabs that miss as Crocop makes him chase. After a missed head kick Brendan takes down shogun again. Schaub lays ontop off crop cop and gives him big right hands, he stands and before he can get in the upright position crop cop up kicks him off his knees. Herb dean warns him now and the fight goes back again as Crocop ends up against the fence again and they hold each others arms and exchange blows. Crop cop then maneuvers and gets Brendan against the fence and they keep reversing a couple of times. Brendan's nose gets busted wide open and blood pours over both fighters. Herb dean then deducts a point from Brendan for hitting the back of his head. Brendan looks tired.

Round 3

As soon as the round begins Brendan is kicked in the balls. As soon as it kicks off again both men exchange a flurry of punches as Brendan then takes down Crocop who kicks out of it. Brendan takes him down again and charges in to it like a bull, hes clearly pissed off and is now turning it on. Brendan beats down on Crocop who manages to get out again. Both men are now exchanging punches but Brendan looks more focused. Crocop defends another takedown and then he is punched in the head while coming in, he drops with shades of the Gonzoga fight. This one comes to an end with yet another loss to one of the most brutal strikers to ever fight MMA.



Urijah Faber vs Eddie Wineland (#1 Contender Match)

There are fights that look great on paper, then not only live up to the hype, they engulf it with fiery vengeance. This fight was quite the opposite. Multi-Promotioninal champion Urijah Faber vs Multi-Promitional champion Eddie Wineland was tuned to be a barn burner, it was more like a barn building.

The short of it was:

First Round – Eddie Won (Not that exciting)
Second Round – Urijah Won (Slightly more exciting)
Third Round – Urijah Won (Slightly less exciting)

Faber wins the fight via decision. The End. Now he is in line for his title shot. Hope it is more fun to watch then this one.


Fight Night 24 The Reflection


Anthony Johnson vs Dan Hardy

From the start a modest Dan Hardy seemed unnerved by the over competence of Anthony Johnson. Although both men gave it their all, it seemed to be a very one sided match. The very fact that Anthony Johnson headbutted Dan Hardy as clear as day without anyone mentioning it or picking it up emphasized that Anthony was both cocky and lucky. Dan did some good defense and attacks however his British charm was soon smashed off his face as an unanimous decision favored Johnson. The highlight of this fight was the exchange both men did in the second round, other than that it was a fairly uneventful fight. With three losses in a row for Hardy we can only assume he is on the verge of getting cut. The outlaw is going to have to start staying with his in-laws to save up money to pay for his hairdressing bills.


Chan Sung Jung vs Leonard Garcia (The Rematch to “Fight of the Decade”)

In comparison to the first fight, this wasn’t exactly the fight of the decade or even fight of the night. Both men were more than ready for this and although the anticipation was electric the fight was quite slow. Both men was pretty even matched although Garcia seemed to be stronger. However when they were both 'turning it on' it was a good bout. Garcia seemed to have delayed reaction time which left a wide open Chan Sung Jung without any such pressure. Garcia's take down defense was weak and this enabled Chan Sung Jung to perform the first ever Twister submission. Leonard Garcia even though he was seconds away for the round to end which would of saved him, still tapped. This means Garcia and Chan Sung Jung are now at a 1-1 tie with beating each other. The next rematch is no doubt going to be 'Fight of the Decade'.




2 UFC Event Awards El Special Edition



The Tsunami Garland Submission Award:

Winner: Chang Sung Jung – For treating Garcia's spine like an apple core and forcing him to tap with just one second left in the second round.


The Dude Where's My Car-Dio Award:

Winner: “Shogun” Rua – For losing the little bit of energy he did come into the fight with midway through the first round. This fight should have been a battle, but instead it turned into a new school beatdown.

The O.J. Simpson Award:

Winner: Anthony Johnson – For blatantly headbutting Dan Hardy and still being able hold down Hardy and ride that white Bronco in for the Unanimous decision.


The Counterstrike Award:

Winner: Erik Koch – For treating Raphel Assuncao to a sweet right hook that sent him crashing to the canvas like a tree cut down by the “Ax Men”. This was the first time Raphel had ever been knocked out in his seven year career. Just goes to show even the bull needs to use defense now and again.


The Amir Sadollah Rewind (I Doth Protest) Award:

Winner: TJ Waldburger – For getting knocked out by Johny Hendricks only to pop up complaining it was an early stoppage. Apparently Johny's secret weapon is his ability to make his opponents looked knocked out just long enough for the referee to stop the fight.


The No Bones About It Award:

Winner: Phil Davis – For controlling, beating up, and treating “Lil” Nog to a lesson in wrestling. Much like “Big” Noggers, “Lil” Noggers is past his prime and might consider hanging it up. Phil Davis is NOT Jon Jones even though the majority seems to compare them. That's not a bad thing at all because that means one day we actually get to see the two beasts go at it.

The Mrs. Doubtfire Award:

Winner: Chan Sung Jung – For coming into this fight with the most ridiculous looking haircut. I'd call it wig-like, however that would be an insult to all hairpieces.


The John Cena Award:

Winner: Mike Russow – For smashing Jon Madsen's left eye to a shade of violet that could only be called, “Holy Heliotrope”. The doctor stopped the fight between the second and third rounds saving Madsen from Russow finishing him off with one last “Five Knuckle Shuffle”.

2010 MMA Retrospect

We've let the other media outlets have their say and now we're laying down the truths of 2010.

2010 MMA Retrospect
by Shayne Grier

It's hard to recap such an amazing year of the fastest growing sport in the world. But I'll try to give you a few of my favorite fights, KO's, and downright entertaining moments the year of 2010 Mixed Martial Arts has had to offer (Shayne style). I'm sure I missed some of the moments that made this year so amazing, so please feel free to comment and let me know some of your favorite moments and happenings of the last 12 months.


My Top Five Moments of 2010

Five:

As Goldberg called it, “The fight of the century”, of course this comes from the mouth of a dude who also said, “If Jardine's last name were Johnson, the nickname Dean of Mean would make no sense”. So, I say we meet somewhere in the middle and call it one of the most entertaining fights in the history of Mixed Martial Arts. Leonard Garcia vs Chan Sung Jung was not a clinic on how to fight nearly as much as it was a clinic on how to take a punch. If you are a fight fan who enjoys wild haymakers, looping bombs, a complete disregard for technique, and every punch thrown is going for the fences, then this is a fight you'll have saved on your DVR for a century.

Four:

Watching Cristiane “Cyborg” Santos punish Jan Finney until she not only broke her will, but her sternum as well. There is nothing better than watching two hot chicks go at it, just too bad we will never get to see that as long as Santos is champion. The “Cyborg” will be champion as long as she wants to be, because there is no woman on the planet that has even the slightest chance against her. Unless of course Joanie Laurer decides to train some MMA and drop about 35 pounds of plastic surgery. I say lets really prove that our culture is about equality and have Santos fight Gilbert Melendez in a unification bout. At least it would almost be a fair fight, for Melendez.

Three:

Mayhem inducing, well, mayhem. What started as a fun little way for Jason Miller to build some hype around a rematch with Shields turned into a one on fifteen “Bully Beatdown”. You will not see Mayhem throw one punch, however the boys from the Cesar Gracie camp throw 43 punches and kicks (Yes I counted) to Miller's back, kidneys, face, and stomach. But who gets the harshest punishment? Of course the man who obviously was smirking when approaches Shields in the ring. Then to top it all off, Gus Johnson spews even more embarrassment over the issue when he says, “Sometimes these things happen in MMA, a lot of testosterone in the cage.”

Really, I mean, really? I've only seen something similar one other time; In “Pride” when Mark Coleman broke Shogun's arm. Get your facts straight Gus or better yet, stick to commentating basketball and football, where those things do happen sometimes.

Two:

The day the Last Emperor killed his own legacy. No, I wasn't happy in the moment I saw a decades worth of hype die within the clutches of Werdum's Triangle Armbar, but Dana White was. I'm still trying to figure out which is worse, losing to a UFC reject or turning down a UFC contract, then losing to said reject.

One:

Anderson Silva submitting Chael Sonnen after letting him win until there was just the right amount of time left on the clock to do the unthinkable. Yes, I believe that Anderson allowed Sonnen to be the Ike to his Tina for twenty three minutes, then slowly and deliberately the spider lured the politician into his web and suffocated him. What makes this victory even more sweet is that Chael tested positive for steroids after the fight. Losing to Anderson with only 8% of the fight left while hyped up on steroids has to leave him feeling uber flaccid.


Top KO's of 2010

(1) Mike “Mini-Nelson” Russow gets beat down for the entire fight by Todd “Former Prospect” Duffee then, to prove once again anything can happen in MMA, Russow lays Duffee out cold and sends him packing right out of the UFC. Classic comeback, I'd say, if I dare it was, “The Comeback of the Cen-churro”.

(2) Carlos Condit knocking out Dan Hardy was a moment in which I stood up and said, “Whaaaaaaaaaat?”. I was very surprised when Hardy got laid out with that hook and then when I watched the replay and saw Hardy coming at Condit with almost the exact same punch, I could do nothing but be impressed. Talk about beating someone to the punch.

(3) Rich Franklin's “bait and punch” knockout of Chuck Liddell was another one of those moments in 2010 when I screamed at the Television in disbelief. Rich does his Trademark wobble leg dance, Chuck smells blood, then Rich makes him taste his own red blood cells with a short right hook and a quick follow up left.

(4) Joe Warren's unrelenting onslaught to dethrone the once debated P4P great Joe Soto. Warren accomplished three things with that KO. He handed Soto his first loss, he won the Bellator Featherweight Championship, and he proved that Bellator is one of the best fight organizations out there. Look out Strikeforce because Bellator is bringing the heat and they aren't making us pay for Showtime to enjoy great fights.

(5) Maximo Blanco swarming Rodrigo Damm with just about every kick and punch in the Combat Almanac until Damm is left looking like Daniel Day-Lewis in “My Left Foot”. All I can say about this one is, if you haven't seen it, Google it. You will not be disappointed.

(6) Cain Velasquez crushing Big Nog's “Homer Simpson-esque” brain abnormality with several punches that would have knocked out a Buffalo.

(7) Cole Escovedo goes low with a toe kick and then slaps Yoshiro Maeda in the face with a high kick. A double kick of beauty that leaves Maeda to hit the ring with such force that it caused a Tsunami in New York.

(8) Nick Diaz knocking out Marius Zaromskis. Sure it took just shy of forty-five punches to finally finish off “Mini-CroCop”, but just as the famous inventor George Washington Carver has taught us, quantity always wins over quality.

(9) Paul Daley treating Scott Smith to a romantic dinner at “Starbucks”. Can somebody please tell Hands of Steel when he wakes up from that KO that he needs to stop trying to recreate his famous fight with Pete Sell. It's just so, 2006.

(10) Gerald Harris slamming David Branch into the SportCenter top ten. Branch pulls guard on Harris and learns a very valuable lesson; He is not Royce Gracie, and this is not UFC 1.



Final 2010 Awards:

The Sticky Award:

Winner: Paul Daley - For landing one last “Semtex” upside the head of Josh Koscheck's big noggin before packing his bags and heading to the C-List organizations.


The Copyright Infringement Award:

Winner: Chuck Liddell - For stealing “Ace's” catch phrase. “If I'm not back in five minutes...Just wait longer”.


The Russian Mafia Award:

Winner: Fedor Emelianenko - For letting Vadim Finkelstein make it so difficult for organizations to procure his services that we barely get to see you fight once a year. Is he the greatest fighter in the history of the sport? Debatable. Is he the most mysterious? Absolutely.


The Botched Feud Award:

Winner: Brock Lesnar - For being so dazed and confused after getting handed a whoppin' for the ages by Cain Velasquez that he forgets to hype his match with The Undertaker at Wrestlemania 27. Mark Callaway tries to get “The NBT” back on track as he passes by saying “You wanna do it?”, but Brock doesn't even remember his own name at this point, let alone who the mean looking Hell's Angel is that's asking him out on a date.


The Pentennial Award:

Winner: Alistair Overeem - For defending the Strikeforce Heavyweight Championship for the first time in five years, against a man coming off a loss none-the-less. Hey Demolition Man, we all know you are a destroyer, but, can we at least see you defend that farce of a title at least once a year. Pretty please?


The Not-So-Bees-Knees Award:

Winner: Frank Mir - For bringing back the old lethargic post motorcycle accident Mir and still managing to knock out Mirko Filipovic with the weakest knee in the history of MMA.


The Cowardly Lion Award:

Winner: Tito Ortiz - For pulling out of his third fight with Chuck Liddell because of “Back problems”. Listen, Tito we all know you just didn't want to get laid out cold for a third time by the Iceman. It's cool, it's cool, we get it.


The Talk Is Cheap Award:

Winner: James Toney - For wasting his entire training camp leading up to his fight with Couture practicing verbal jabs instead of defending against single legs. Toney did talk the talk, but it is really hard to walk the walk when you're laying on your back with “The Natural” on top of you.


The Street Fighter Award:

Winner: Anthony Pettis - For blowing the minds of every MMA fan by jumping off the cage wall and nearly knocking Ben Henderson out with a move right out of Vega's playbook. In the last minute of the last round of the last fight of the last WEC Anthony Pettis proved that we have just scratched the surface of unbelievable moments in the history of Mixed Martial Arts.


2010? We're already compiling the highlights of 2011. That's how far ahead of the game we are...