A Ground and Pound Highlight

When you look at all the arguments for how much more brutal MMA is than other combat sports, the typical fall-back is for detractors to bring up the fact that the combatants are allowed to strike each other while on the ground. While there is honestly no major difference in velocity and force between punching someone on a vertical or horizontal plane, there are technical differences, namely being that someone lying down can’t escape if they’re pinning, while a standing fighter can easily cut a corner if he’s back against a turnstile. Although MMA has produced not nearly as many fatalities, the mere fact that a dominant man can pin another and crush his face with punches or elbows it looks like he was born with Treacher-Collins Syndrome (research and ready your puke bucket), but this just happens in the mainstream, i.e., American circuits. The sadistic psychopaths of the Brazilian Vale Tudo events and the pathologically conforming Japanese have turned ground and pound from a simple tactic into, well…. a slightly more gruesome but equally simple tactic. Below are four of the best examples of the brutality of ground and pound.


Sergei Kharitonov v. Semmy Schilt – When it comes to ground and pound, most fighters aim for mounting and pounding an opponent, they do it while sitting on their waist. Sergei, being your typical Russian who possibly borders on violent paranoid schizophrenia, chose to instead sit on Schilt’s neck and pop him in the left eye with hammer fists. For an added bonus, since Japanese crowds are silent, you can hear the shrieks and cries of pain that Schilt slips out with every strike.

Jon Jones v. Matt Hamill – "HOLY CRAP STOP THE FIGHT!" I yelled this with every elbow Jones crashed into Hamill’s skull. Of course, this was pointless, because A) It was televised and B) the guy is deaf, yo. Of course, Jones was disqualified for using the 12-6 elbow drop, which was recently made illegal, but the aerial shot made of Hamill, blood pooling in the dents Jones left in his skull, was terrifying.

Mark Coleman v Igor Vovchanchyn – The wrestler who inspired the Coleman Clause and a decreed 'godfather of ground and pound (as if smashing someone’s face while they’re on the ground is a new notion, whatever)' Igor didn’t stand a chance in your typical wrestler vs. striker argument, and the twenty-plus knees he took to the forehead proves it.

Bob Sapp v. Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira – Big Nog wins the prize for being one of the few men to endure a 360 pound black Godzilla power bombing him, breaking a dozen bones in his face with his turkey sized fists, and even going far enough to actually JUMP AND LAND HIS FIST DEAD CENTER ON NOG’S FACE (!) and then win the fight. Sure, he outclassed Sapp while standing by actually knowing how to box, but his insistence on wanting to finish by submission (as well as a nasty back injury) put him at a disadvantage.


Mr Brendan Rowe

UFC 128 and Fight Night 24: Bumper Edition

It's a bumper edition. Like a bulked up Zuluzinho, we're bringing you twice the fun courtesy of Mr Shayne Grier and Mr Ashley Dempsey. Once more we're building those transatlantic bridges of MMA love...

UFC 128: The Retrospection


“Shogun” Rua vs Jon Jones (Light Heavyweight Championship)

Fight Walk-In's

Rua has all this hype surrounding him about this come back fight after being out of action for months. The problem he has is, the time he used promoting he should of used training. As Jon Jones came out looking like the hare, Rua was resembling the tortoise, the difference is, he had no shell to hide into, he just sunk his head into 205 pounds of fat. As he stands there with his man boobs that put the ring girls to shame, you see his confidence slipping as he looks across at Jon Jones who's eyes tell him “Champion 2011” - which is what his autographs were also telling people.

First Round

As Jones smashes RUA with a knee, you see RUA's fat ripple as he realizes it's game over. From here on, Jones gives a head kick and easily moves out the way of Shogun's hook punch. Jones executes the perfect take down. RUA, who is too fat to sit up, then receives some elbows to the body which makes his flabby stomach look something like when you push down on a balloon before it pops. Jones remains on top choking him like a fat rag doll. Shogun finally gets up and walks around wobbling with both his legs and his gut like a bowl of jelly, he ends up on his back again and is dominated as the round comes to an end.

Second round

Jones starts the round with a football kick to RUA's face then he pins him up against the Octagon and smashes him open with a spinning back elbow. Both men exchange blows even though Shogun's don’t always connect, and when they do, they do NOTHING! Okay, maybe not “Nothing”, but it looked like Shogun was in slap fight, while Jones was inside the Matrix. Shogun ends up on his back again causing more tsunamis around the world with the reverb from his gut as Jon unloads. He then gets dominated as Jones puts his forearm in his throat and then continues to smash his fat face in. The round ends as Jones gets shogun in a leg lock and hammer fists him. The round ended yet you can see that last punch rocked him, wobbling to the corner hoping for a miracle.

Round Three

Shogun finally does something, he ducks under Jones legs as he tries to kick him and performs a takedown, Jones then easily gets out of it within seconds and then lays on top of him. As Jones is on top of shogun he digs his elbow into his belly which seemed to do more good than harm. He then performs some devastating punches and elbows which rock shogun, and as one of my favorite fight quotes says, “Put him on Queer Street”. Shogun manages to escape to his feet, but that is only a minor relief from his broken will and body. A Semi conscious Shogun staggers back to the fence as Jones gives him one last knee to the face (But he Rua was going down anyway) knocking him down. Shogun then taps at the same time as Herb Dean calls the bout to a stop. Its over, new UFC Champion, Jon Jones.

Brendan Schaub vs Mirko Crocop (Fight for Pride)

Round 1 Brendan forces Crocop to dance around the octagon as brendan throws some jabs and various other strikes. It looks promising for Crocop as he sweeps and dodges away. Schaub has Crocop against the fence and after some pinning he gets a warning for hitting the back of Crocops head. Then brendan takes Mirko down and after some minor struggling, he then performs some huge punches to Crocops head, Crocop unrocked but no doubt hurt manages to make a switch and stand, Brendan tries to take him down again but Mirko defends himself from it. Mirko ends up pinned against the fence again and both men exchange the punches as the round comes to an end.

Round 2

Brendan darts around throwing jabs that miss as Crocop makes him chase. After a missed head kick Brendan takes down shogun again. Schaub lays ontop off crop cop and gives him big right hands, he stands and before he can get in the upright position crop cop up kicks him off his knees. Herb dean warns him now and the fight goes back again as Crocop ends up against the fence again and they hold each others arms and exchange blows. Crop cop then maneuvers and gets Brendan against the fence and they keep reversing a couple of times. Brendan's nose gets busted wide open and blood pours over both fighters. Herb dean then deducts a point from Brendan for hitting the back of his head. Brendan looks tired.

Round 3

As soon as the round begins Brendan is kicked in the balls. As soon as it kicks off again both men exchange a flurry of punches as Brendan then takes down Crocop who kicks out of it. Brendan takes him down again and charges in to it like a bull, hes clearly pissed off and is now turning it on. Brendan beats down on Crocop who manages to get out again. Both men are now exchanging punches but Brendan looks more focused. Crocop defends another takedown and then he is punched in the head while coming in, he drops with shades of the Gonzoga fight. This one comes to an end with yet another loss to one of the most brutal strikers to ever fight MMA.



Urijah Faber vs Eddie Wineland (#1 Contender Match)

There are fights that look great on paper, then not only live up to the hype, they engulf it with fiery vengeance. This fight was quite the opposite. Multi-Promotioninal champion Urijah Faber vs Multi-Promitional champion Eddie Wineland was tuned to be a barn burner, it was more like a barn building.

The short of it was:

First Round – Eddie Won (Not that exciting)
Second Round – Urijah Won (Slightly more exciting)
Third Round – Urijah Won (Slightly less exciting)

Faber wins the fight via decision. The End. Now he is in line for his title shot. Hope it is more fun to watch then this one.


Fight Night 24 The Reflection


Anthony Johnson vs Dan Hardy

From the start a modest Dan Hardy seemed unnerved by the over competence of Anthony Johnson. Although both men gave it their all, it seemed to be a very one sided match. The very fact that Anthony Johnson headbutted Dan Hardy as clear as day without anyone mentioning it or picking it up emphasized that Anthony was both cocky and lucky. Dan did some good defense and attacks however his British charm was soon smashed off his face as an unanimous decision favored Johnson. The highlight of this fight was the exchange both men did in the second round, other than that it was a fairly uneventful fight. With three losses in a row for Hardy we can only assume he is on the verge of getting cut. The outlaw is going to have to start staying with his in-laws to save up money to pay for his hairdressing bills.


Chan Sung Jung vs Leonard Garcia (The Rematch to “Fight of the Decade”)

In comparison to the first fight, this wasn’t exactly the fight of the decade or even fight of the night. Both men were more than ready for this and although the anticipation was electric the fight was quite slow. Both men was pretty even matched although Garcia seemed to be stronger. However when they were both 'turning it on' it was a good bout. Garcia seemed to have delayed reaction time which left a wide open Chan Sung Jung without any such pressure. Garcia's take down defense was weak and this enabled Chan Sung Jung to perform the first ever Twister submission. Leonard Garcia even though he was seconds away for the round to end which would of saved him, still tapped. This means Garcia and Chan Sung Jung are now at a 1-1 tie with beating each other. The next rematch is no doubt going to be 'Fight of the Decade'.




2 UFC Event Awards El Special Edition



The Tsunami Garland Submission Award:

Winner: Chang Sung Jung – For treating Garcia's spine like an apple core and forcing him to tap with just one second left in the second round.


The Dude Where's My Car-Dio Award:

Winner: “Shogun” Rua – For losing the little bit of energy he did come into the fight with midway through the first round. This fight should have been a battle, but instead it turned into a new school beatdown.

The O.J. Simpson Award:

Winner: Anthony Johnson – For blatantly headbutting Dan Hardy and still being able hold down Hardy and ride that white Bronco in for the Unanimous decision.


The Counterstrike Award:

Winner: Erik Koch – For treating Raphel Assuncao to a sweet right hook that sent him crashing to the canvas like a tree cut down by the “Ax Men”. This was the first time Raphel had ever been knocked out in his seven year career. Just goes to show even the bull needs to use defense now and again.


The Amir Sadollah Rewind (I Doth Protest) Award:

Winner: TJ Waldburger – For getting knocked out by Johny Hendricks only to pop up complaining it was an early stoppage. Apparently Johny's secret weapon is his ability to make his opponents looked knocked out just long enough for the referee to stop the fight.


The No Bones About It Award:

Winner: Phil Davis – For controlling, beating up, and treating “Lil” Nog to a lesson in wrestling. Much like “Big” Noggers, “Lil” Noggers is past his prime and might consider hanging it up. Phil Davis is NOT Jon Jones even though the majority seems to compare them. That's not a bad thing at all because that means one day we actually get to see the two beasts go at it.

The Mrs. Doubtfire Award:

Winner: Chan Sung Jung – For coming into this fight with the most ridiculous looking haircut. I'd call it wig-like, however that would be an insult to all hairpieces.


The John Cena Award:

Winner: Mike Russow – For smashing Jon Madsen's left eye to a shade of violet that could only be called, “Holy Heliotrope”. The doctor stopped the fight between the second and third rounds saving Madsen from Russow finishing him off with one last “Five Knuckle Shuffle”.

UFC 128: The Winds Of Change

Whilst we enjoyed our Bones Lamb Pie, Mr Stu Furay was paying close attention to UFC 128. Not that we didn't, it's just difficult to concentrate with food that good...


The winds of change are blowing through MMA and the UFC. The sports changing, the companies changing and the fighters are evolving. Pride; gone. WEC; Gone. Strikeforce; All but gone. One by one the old guard are being picked off by a new breed of younger, hungrier, athletic, explosive, multi-talented super-fighters. Cain Velazquez, Jon Jones, Anderson Silva, GSP and Jose Aldo all sit at the top of their respective trees. In recent times we have seen Mark Coleman and Chuck Liddell retired and the myth of Fedor Emilianenko destroyed.

After Saturday night, you can add two more names to that list. First off, Brendan ‘The Hybrid’ Schaub struck another nail into the long and illustrious career of Mirko ‘Cro Cop’ Filopovic. Quicker, bigger, stronger and more athletic than Cro Cop, Schaub was never really troubled barring a nice short elbow that landed flush on his nose. Schaub used his size and reach advantage to keep Cro Cop at distance or pinned up against the cage to nullify those infamous kicks, and nicely timing his takedowns to slip Cro Cop’s big left and put Cro Cop on his back. Cro Cop looked one dimensional and out of his depth. Schaub brought the fight to an abrupt end with a crushing right hand in the third round, practically dropping Cro Cop on his head. After Two defeats on the spin, the sun is surely setting on Cro Cop’s career.

Then in the main event, came the culmination of the meteoric rise of Jon ‘Bones’ Jones. Jones has blown away everything and everyone in his path. Never troubled, never rocked and barely even getting out of breath. His fight against the champion, Mauricio ‘Shogun’ Rua, was no different. Only hours before the biggest fight of his life whilst meditating in a nearby park, Jones chased down a mugger, kicked his ass and turned him over to the police. You have to wonder if the mugger put up more of a fight than Shogun did. Shogun looked slow, flabby and ponderous, whereas Jones looked like he always does; in peak physical condition, ripped to the bone and focused like a laser. Within thirty seconds Jones had his first takedown. He was his usual bag of tricks of flying knees and spinning back elbows and it wasn’t long before he started to dominate. Shogun had no answer to his speed, reach, athletic ability, explosiveness and multitude of strikes. The fight was brought to an end in the third round after Jones beat Shogun to the ground and the referee mercifully called it off in the most one-sided championship bout you are likely to see. After the fight Bones was barely out of breath, while Shogun looked like he had been mugged himself. The time it was Jones doing the mugging, and he casually walked off with Shogun’s gold.

So, what next? I wouldn’t be surprised of Cro Cop hung up his gloves for good, and Schaub is looking like a dangerous prospect in the Heavyweight division.

After Shogun’s performance, I wouldn’t at all be surprised to see him follow former Pride fighter Wanderlei Silva down to middleweight.

We know Jones is facing former team-mate Rashad Evans in his first title defence, after Evais announced he would no longer be training with Greg Jackson. Don’t expect Evans to fair much better. The UFC and Jonny ‘Bones’ Jones are looking unstoppable.

UFC 126: An Epic Tale

UFC 126
by Shayne Grier


Anderson Silva vs Vitor Belfort (Middleweight Title Fight)

The build up was intense for this showdown. It started with the pre-fight interviews, to the speculation that an elite striker would have the best chance to fumigate “The Spider”, and the hype peaked during the weigh-ins when Silva molested Vitor's face with his face (Wearing a mask nonetheless) and started spitting out, heated, vulgar (Maybe) Brazilian Jabberwocky until Dana White was forced to intervene.

The wait was over and the fight began, then for the next two minutes the fans were treated to a staring competition for the ages. The entire MMA community let out a collective sigh, the crowd started to boo, and everyone watching thought, “Here we go again”.

Anderson throws a kick...
More staring...
A short glancing stare...
Vitor throws some lighting fast punches grazing Anderson...
Anderson throws a fake stare...
Then finally get up close and personal with a few punches and kicks...
Vitor secures a quick takedown...
(I'm sure there is a non-visual stare in this exchange somewhere)...
Vitor tries to land a few ground and pound shots but misses...
Anderson scrambles to his feet and ends the exchange with a knee to Vitor's dome...
More staring...
A three second knee staring competition ensues...
More eye staring...
(Elapsed time: WHO CARES!!! FIGHT ALREADY!!)...
More staring...

Then from a screaming angry drunks mouth somewhere deep in the bayou, we faintly here, “Do something you chocolate covered grass hopper eating pansies!” and then, Anderson Silva does. In the time it would take for a normal human to blink, Anderson's foot left the mat and punted Belfort straight in the jaw with a kick straight out of Tekken 3. Vitor's legs gave out as he crumpled to the canvas, Silva stayed calmed, kept his focus, and landed two more punches to the downed “Phenom” before Mario Yamasaki halted the bout. One of the most amazing and brutal kicks in the history of MMA ended the night for Vitor and left us all wondering who might be able to end the champs reign.


Problem: Anderson Silva Is Unbreakable

Anderson hasn't lost a fight since Rumble on the Rock in 2006 when he knocked out Okami with an “Illegal kick”. But come on, Silva was clearly kicking at Okami's chest when he leans into it with his face. A DQ in that situation is ridiculous for two reasons:

1-It should have been ruled a NO CONTEST since it doesn't appear it was intentional.
2-If you can knock someone out with a kick when you are on your back in guard, then not only should it be a legal strike, the fighter that threw the strike should get a “Golden Retriever” as a KO bonus.

Silva is riding a 14 fight win streak (9 KO's, 3 Subs) and always seems to be on the kill screen level while his opponents still have their hand in their pocket searching for a quarter to start the game with.


Solution: Time Travel

Anderson Silva needs to put an ad on Craigslist stating:

Dr. Emmett Brown needed for immediate space time continuum job opportunity.

He needs to then travel 6 months into the past and fight himself. The world would be treated to an epic battle the likes of which we have only seen in Superman 3, thus changing the face of our sport for years and years to come. Or, it might just end up being a 25 minute Eddy Gordo Dance Dance Revolution clinic. In the end, at least we would see Silva or Silva lose, but I guess in the end, he still keeps his belt and reign. Bullocks to you time travel, Seth Bullocks you to hell!


Forrest Griffin vs Rich Franklin (Light Heavyweight Superfight?)

Former Middleweight Champion Rich Franklin vs Former Light Heavyweight Champion Forrest Griffin was slated to be a UFC Superfight. And, well, sadly it was. Flashback to Dan Severn vs Ken Shamrock at UFC 9 or Royce Gracie vs Ken Shamrock at UFC 5. All of these contests seemed miraculous and exciting on paper, but when all was said and done we were left feeling like Roy Stalin at the end of the classic comedy starring John Cusack, Better of Dead.

If you really care to know, Griffin wins via fairly boring and uneventful encounter. At no point in the contest did either fighter gain more than a minor advantage. It was a see saw struggle fest between two kids who weighed exactly the same, and neither wanted to use his feet to push off the ground for fear the other might jump off and the one left on the saw might get KTFO'd.


Problem: Both men are destined to be gatekeepers

With Rua, Jones, Machida, Rampage, Lil Nog, and Anderson Silva (When he feels like a low to moderate challenge) nestled atop the Light Heavyweight ladder, there is just no way either touch the gold again. It is a little bit depressing too because both Griffin and Franklin are humble, talented, hardworking, smart and respectful fighters. It is just too bad this isn't a high school popularity contest, it's the UFC.

Solution: Reinstate the Superfight belt

That's right, I said it. Make a new/old belt class, add Griffin and Franklin to the pool of former Superfight Championship participants. I mean come on, look at the depth in this class: Oleg Taktarov, Ken Shamrock, Dan Severn, Kimo Leopoldo, Tsuyoshi Kohsaka, Royce Gracie, Don Frye, Mark Coleman, Randy Couture, Vitor Belfort, Joe Charles, Hugo Duarte, and Tank Abbott. And you thought Light Heavyweight was a stacked division. Boo-YEAH!


Jon Jones vs Ryan Bader (Post-fight #1 Contender Bout)

The battle of two undefeated fighters, although the UFC couldn't bill it as such because of Jones's DQ lose to Hamill.

Let me digress for a minute:

What a farce of a rule; A fighter can elbow you with side of joint, but not the point? A 9 to 6 strike isn't legal, but a 3 to 12 is? I'm confused. Then shouldn't a hook be illegal too? It technically comes from the 9 to 6 position; If the clock is horizontal and turned around then that is a 9 to 6 strike too!

Oh, it is because I don't have elbow pads on to protect the other fighters precious “Fabio-esque” good looks”? Give me a break. They signed up for the same fight as I did. Learn to elbow strike, or at least defend it you moron.

What about knee strikes? It's the point of joint and they usually go from 6 to 12 if the clock (We are assuming is there) is upright. That sounds way more dangerous than a “9 to 6 elbow strike”. It must be because the fighters are laying down on the ground and not standing up. Because we all know when fighters are on the ground is when the most brutal and nasty strikes occur.

Listen, I'm not fighter, but Randy Couture endorses this statement 100 percent. So if you don't like it. Talk to him.

End of digress. I thank you for waiting:

We all knew it was however a fight of two undefeated LH studs, and that is what made this a fight a true fans dreamy delight.

Jones took it to Ryan early and looked close to submitting him barely a minute and a half into the first round with a variation of the “Mr. Wonderful” choke. In the second round Jones mixed it up with his reach, using punches and kicks to make the undefeated Ultimate Fighter winner look like a fish out of water. Then with just forty seconds left in the second round he took that fish threw him on the banks of the river and sucked the air right out of his gills with a modified guillotine choke. Sadly, Bader never even looked remotely in this fight.


Problem: Jon “Bones” Jones as yet to be tested.

Sure he has fought some good fighters, but he has made EVERY one of them look as if they belong on the Strikeforce roster. He fights smart, hard, unorthodox, and is in a league of his own when it comes to unpredictability (Except for those elbows. We know those lethal bows are coming every fight, it's just no one can stop them).


Solution: Mauricio “Shogun” Rua

After the fight Joe Rogan dropped the bomb on Jones offering him Rashad's title fight spot against Shogun Rua in six weeks. Finally after 13 fights we get to see Jones fight someone who will actually make it a fight, for at least for one round.



UFC 126 Awards:

The UFC Inaguration Curse:

Winner: Kid Yamamoto – The “Kid” is added to the list of UFC debutantes that just don't live up to what they can do; Like Mark Hunt, Takanori Gomi, Shogun Rua, Carlos Condit, and Heath Herring. If no one has ever seen the 4 second knee KO Yamamoto pulled off, well, I'd say Google it, but that is over played, and um, just Yahoo it. We all know Yahoo would do good with some search love right about now.


The Rosetta Stone Award:

Winner: Anderson Silva – For fighting in the UFC since June of 2006 and still only being able to say, “Thank you” and “I'm Sorry” as part of his English arsenal. Dude, this is why people think you are cocky and arrogant. If Cain Velasquez can learn English, so can you.


The First Knee Is Always The Sweetest Award:

Winner: Kyle Kingsbury – For it only taking one knee to the body of Ricardo Romero's to make his insides want be on the outsides, of the Octagon. Sure, it took a few more knees and punches to have the referee step in to stop the fight, but Romero was done as soon as he felt the wrath of that first knee.


The Above The Law Award:

Winner: Steven Seagal – For telling the world in several post fight interviews that he invented the kick that Silva used to KO Vitor. It was a front snap kick to the face. My nine year old son Jackson learned and perfected that kick last year when he was a green belt in Tae Kwon Do.

You are a Big Shot Seagal. Can I call you BS? Good times; Thank you! Listen BS, we all know you are a Major in the Army of Douche, but please, tell the world the truth. Please recant your lies and tell them the real creator of this move. You know the man, the myth, the legend, the creator of all that is MMA; And dare I say it, the world. No, not God. Someone more creative, more stylish, more You look up to him, you call him daddy when you sleep, and he made YOU, who you are. So, for the love of Jebus, give him his due...

Master Le KaullingUoutA told us in an exclusive interview, that your teacher, your master, your guide, Al Gore invented that kick the day he invented the internet. I'm super serial, he totally deserves the recognition, and us here at the Phantom Knee will not stand with you and your cowardice. I mean really, be man and tell the truth about Gore. What else has he got? The earth saving thing? No. We all know that isn't going anywhere.

AWARD POST SCRIPT: I had to bring this to the worlds attention...Four of Steven Seagal's movies have the word “Justice” in the title. Can someone please give this guy a thesaurus and teach him and his producers some new words? How about...

Out for Reasonableness

Or

Mercenary for Compensation

Or

Urban Amends

Or

True Evenness

Who cares really, but I thought is was just another reason to prove to the world that SS is a BS MF'img CF AH! Sorry, but this dude is a B-Licken-Liar!


The Bizarro Award:

Winner: Miguel Torres – For abandoning his aggressive ways en route to his decision win over Antonio Banuelos. Sure your aggression got you two loses in a row, sure your pride and ego were bruised, sure you got the win in this but this “play it safe” style is not how you gained your fan base. This fight was setup to be an all out fantastical war of two aggressive fighters, instead it was almost as big of a let down as Houston Alexander vs Kimbo Slice.


The Homie I Know You Will Not Remember All This But Give It A Shot Because I Don't Really Even Understand What In The World You Are Actually Saying Once You Translate What I Have Said Anyway/Coat Tail Rider Award:

Winner: Ed Soares – For listening to Anderson answer Joe's first post-fight question for a whopping minute and fifteen seconds, then acting as if he really could recall translate all of that properly. I just feel dirty every time Ed translates for Anderson because we all know Soares is just saying what he wants us to hear, and not actually what Silva has said. He is the Don King of Brazilian fight managers.


The A-Hole Award Goes To Joe Rogan:

Winner: Joe Rogan – For Making Vitor watch the KO!


The Tainty Dunce Award:

Winner: Paul Kelly – For barely touching gloves with Donald Cerrone before throwing a hard punch that barely missed. Turnabout is fair play, Paul Kelly gets submitted in the second round by rear naked choke. Oh, and Kelly, good thing “The Cowboy” showed you more respect than you should him by letting go of the choke as soon as he felt you tap.


The Rick Roll Award:

Winner: Dan Severn - For being awesome. You might ask, why you talking about Mr. Severn? He didn't fight at UFC 126. Correct, he did not. However, the reason is four-fold:

One: I already mentioned him and I can do what I want.

Two: He is the current Elite Heavyweight Title holder, former UFC Superfight title holder, and former two time UFC tournament winner, this guy is a BEAST (Pun intended) and his 52 years old. Um, older than Randy and Herschel.

Three: The UFC need not worry about Fedor or Overeem. I say, bring back the only true elite Heavyweight juggernaut and let him show the chumps of UFC Heavyweight division how a real man throws down, old school style.