TPK's Revised Rules of MMA - Part One: The Coleman Clause

Following on from our '10 Ways To Improve MMA' we bring you: 'The Revised Rules Of MMA'. Why? Because we are the way, people.

THIS IS ALL FOR YOUR OWN GOOD.

We're bringing you the sweet and sexy MMAids courtesy of Mr Brendan Rowe.

Warning: This blog may require the reader to have a knowledge of MMA that extends beyond the UFC...

Part One: The Coleman Clause.


1 - Even if the rules state otherwise, Mark Coleman is allowed to strike his opponent any way he wants, with any part of his body that he wants, until such time that he scores a KO or TKO.

A - His opponents are never allowed to do the same, ever.
B - If Coleman is submitted, he gets a mulligan in the form of one free shot to any part of the body of his opponent.


2 - In the event of a round or fight ending due to time out, Coleman gets a one-minute grace period in which he pins his opponent in North/South or a sprawl until he scores a TKO via knee strikes.

3 - Should his opponent break a limb during combat, the opponent's team must sit on the sidelines and watch while their man gets thumped.

A - Only Wanderlei Silva may enter the ring, regardless of affiliation.

1 - Wanderlei Silva must be present at every fight Coleman is at.
2 - Rampage must also be present.

B - Herb Dean is allowed to use tranquilizer darts if Coleman's blood lust hasn't been sated.

C - Phil Baroni must be choked out, regardless of where he is, every time this happens.