UFC 125: The Analynopsis

UFC 125 - The Analynopsis (With a hint of Dynamite!!)
by Shayne Grier

Frankie Edgar vs Gray Maynard (Lightweight Title Fight)

One of the most exciting and one-sided first rounds in MMA history started this fight with a bang, then it ended with a draw. When the split draw was announced I felt like Eugene Levy in American Pie when he walked into the kitchen and saw Jim giving that pie the Ol' “Mexican Avalanche”. And by the look on Gray Maynard's face, so did he.

Quickly into the first round Maynard drops Edgar with a hard punch that causes the champ to drop and roll, and for the next four minutes it is just more of the same. Gray drops Frankie several times during the course of this onslaught and some how, some way, Frankie finds a way to survive.

According to Fightmetric Gray threw 47 strikes and Frankie threw 10. So, almost five times as many strikes somehow doesn't warrant a 10-7 round? Then why do we have 10-7 rounds? I would say just for the sake of illegal strikes point deductions, because these moron judges are obviously never going to score a round that way without something like that happening. Dana White said, “10-7 rounds are like Unicorns”. I guess he's right, but I think he meant to say Horses, cause they are missing a point.

There was actually a fight that had a 10-7 round in the UFC and it was Kalib Starnes vs Nate Quarry at UFC 83. I just have to get this straight in my mind, if you complete destroy a fighter for almost an entire round it is a 10-8? However if you run away from your opponent and he does no damage to you during the course of a round, then it is a 10-7? Ugh.

I have to give Frankie Edgar big times props because he proved why he is one of the best fighters in the world by coming back from the beating he took in Round 1. I think the judges scored it wrong, but in the end it doesn't really matter because we get to see Gray Maynard vs Frankie Edgar 3. And that means that there was a draw, but in the end, we are all winners.


Brian Stann vs Chris Leben

The story of Leben's fighting career should be named, “The George Costanza”. Every time it looks like he might be getting close to succeeding, he screws it up by trying to use his chin to block punches. First it was Anderson Silva teeing off on his mug sending his career spiraling down the ladder, and at UFC 125 it was Brian Stann who knocked him completely off the ladder, turned that S.O.B sideways and crippled his future with it.

Leben kept saying he wanted Stann to stand and bang with him, and I knew this was going to be an exciting, quick, and brutal fight. And it delivered, ten fold. Brian Stann was unrelenting with punches dropping Leben over and over until the fatal knee that sent Leben down for the last time. Stann is very similar to Chris, except for the one simple fact that he is way smarter with his punching and blocking (That may be three facts), and he doesn't cry like a baby when he loses (4?). Ooh-rah!


Clay Guida vs Takanori Gomi

Gomi loses via guillotine choke round two. Sounds familiar. I'm sure that Gomi's new years resolution was something about helping to create world peace or to stopping world hunger this year, but it should have been focusing on submission defense. So the key to victory against Takanori Gomi is to get him to the ground, and well, have the ground game just a tad better than the Arizona Cardinals. You would have thought after Nick Diaz “Blazed” into Pride 33 and submitted the once king of the lightweight division, the “Fireball Kid” would actually work on his ground game. Nope, Goku, nope.

Let's look at the other side of this coin, Clay “The Carpenter” Guida. This guy, I mean, this guy. He always amazes me with his bounces, energy, hair, and his caveman looking brother slapping him up before each fight. This fight he used all four to his advantage and it was a thing of mixed martial arts magic. Clay has won three fight of the night awards, two submission of the night awards, a fight of the year award, and is riding a three fight win streak. This is the year of the Guida, I believe he has found his style and he will ride it all the way to the lightweight title.


UFC 125 Awards:


The “86” Award:

Winner: (Draw) Davis, Vera, McKee, and Baroni – They all won a ticket right out of the UFC, don't pass Go, don't look at the ring girls, don't cry to Joe Silva, just pack your bags and find a new home in Strikeforce.

Don't fret fans, because Vera has always been over-hyped, McKee is boring, Davis is over the hill, and Baroni, well, I like Baroni, but he just hasn't ever caught the right MMA wave. Maybe he can go to Japan and fight Sakurabu for the vacant “Dream a little Dream title” in some new promotion.


The Patience Is A Virtue Award:

Winner: Josh Grispi – For not waiting to fight Jose Aldo at a later date. Sometimes you just have to wait, sometimes you just have to breathe. Dustin Poirier capitalized on this lack of patience and I can only assume he meets Aldo for the title in the near future. However, that is why Poirier is not the winner of this award; Because he HAS to now fight Aldo, and only Aldo wins in that situation 99.9% of the time.

The Trapper Keeper Can't Hide This Merger Award:

Winner: Brittney Palmer – For giving all the male fans of the UFC something other than just talented fighters when WEC merged.


The Dude Where's My Title Shot Award:

Winner: Anthony Pettis – For doing the most amazing thing in the history of MMA in the last fight on the last card of WEC and still not getting to fight for a title after that. Dana says he is getting a shot before UFC 125, then at the press conference he still says he is getting it. Then sometime between the hours of 11PM and 12AM he meets up with Jack Bauer and is told to give the immediate rematch to Maynard, for the safety of the U.S.


The Angry White Boy Polka Award:

Winner: Dana White - For repeatedly getting agitated during his post UFC interview with Ariel Helwani. He was angry with the critics, the fans, the coals he received for Christmas, and especially with Steve Mazzagatti. It's not Steve's fault that Silva and Vera were dirty dancing it up in their fight, sometimes dudes just gotta hug it out.


PS:

EXTRA DYNAMITE!!)

The Mark Antony (Lend me your ears) Award:

Winner: Kazushi Sakuraba – For sparing himself another nasty knockout by sacrificing his right ear to the Dynamite!! God's barely two minutes into his bout with Zaromskis. When your only significant win comes from a flash knockout of Ken Shamrock over four years ago, it is most likely time to put your guns away and retire from hunting.

The I Will Reem You Award:

Winner: Alistair Overeem – For making Todd Duffee look like Bob Sapp when he beat him just about two shakes of a lambs tail. I wish Overeem would fight someone of significance so that the world can see the beast he truly is, sadly he will keep fighting tin cans; Next up, Fabricio Werdum.